Records Make Great Pets

Gig flashback - Polysics (King Tut's Wah Wah Hut, Glasgow, 23rd July, 2004)

2012-01-16T13:43:00.000Z

It's been a while since I posted one of these...but, I was rummaging around in an old image hosting account. These photos are from the summer of 2004, before I even got my first digital camera.

Hmmm...I guess I must have borrowed one from a friend.

Those were the days, weren't they? I realise there is one other happy snapper caught in one of the below photos, but that's ok. There wasn't enough digital cameras around to get annoyed about. No endless sea of little lit-up screens in front of you at every single gig. I know I'm guilty of being "one of those annoying people" at times as well. But, I'm trying to cut down.

I remember being introduced to Polysics by the TV show Adam and Joe Go Tokyo. They were the musical guests in one of the episodes and just blew me away with their DEVO-on-crazy-pills antics. When they announced a Glasgow show, there was no way in hell I was going to miss out.

And while I'm at it, here's a video for their song I My Me Mine...

awesomes...

I watch movies so you don't have to #9 - The Naked Cage (1986) - contains spoilers and a bit of nudity

2012-01-14T12:28:00.000Z

The Naked Cage (1986)
Directed by: Paul Nicholas
Starring: Shari Shattuck, Christina Whitaker

With a title like The Naked Cage comes very high expectations, but I must say I wasn't disappointed. This movie is awesome! One of my favourite Cannon Productions so far.

It has everything you'd expect from a Women-in-Prison movie. An evil warden and an equally evil guard. And a nice guard. The obligatory shower scenes. Loads of fights! And a RIOT!

We start off on an empty stretch of road, where some cool lady in red cowboy shoes and funky shades is trying to hitch a ride.

In that outfit she doesn't have to look for long.

Willy pulls up in a red sports car.

Rita gets in.

Time to introduce Michelle, a very well brought-up young woman. She's arriving at her parents house for the weekend, to hang out with them and her beloved horse. They are really pushing the goody-two-shoes qualities of this girl to the max.

Rita and Willy head to a diner for some food. Working his smooth moves Willy invites her to stay at his place. "If you need a place to crash tonight, mi casa es su casa". Ohh...his language skills are obviously working a treat, cause Rita agrees.

A cop shows up and takes an interest in Willy's red sports car. He makes some enquiries. But, BAM! Rita knocks him out, grabs his gun and shoots the owner of the diner...all without even breaking a sweat.

Willy soon realises that you don't really mess with Rita. "Get the fucking money!" she screams and poor Willy isn't really in a situation to argue.

Well, actually...it's a bit difficult to feel sorry for Willy. He's a bit of a dumb-ass.

Anyway, they make it to Willy's house, where we find out that Michelle is Willy's ex. It also turns out that Rita is an escaped convict.

Willy is a bit nervous about the whole shooting...it wasn't really what he was expecting. Rita offers to calm him down...by sprinkling some cocaine on her nipples.

"Time for a little treat for all your worrying"
"Willy, we're in this now...for richer or for poorer"

The next day Willy tries to patch things up with Michelle, but she's not interested. She offers to help him get a place in rehab, but she doesn't want him to screw up her life anymore.

So...it's back to Rita and together they cook up a plan.

Bank robbery!

And not just any bank. Oh no...they pick the bank where Michelle works.

There's a big shoot-out...and eventually they have to take Michelle hostage.

With shitloads of cops on the way, they make an attempt to get away.

But, amidst all the shooting and chaos, they crash the car.

Willy's dead and with his links to Michelle, it's all looking a bit suspicious. She's arrested!

It's prison time!

And immediately we're treated to some courtyard dancing!

Michelle is shown her bunk.

"Listen. You look like a nice kid. Don't mess with the warden. Whatever, she wants...just give it to her"

Ahh...it's one of those prisons. If my experience in this genre has taught me anything, that warden is going to want some love.

Ok...so Michelle quickly finds out how things work in the prison. Sheila is the big cheese amongst the inmates, the one you pay money to if you want protection. There's also a clear division between the black and the white inmates.

She makes friends with Amy, a former junkie/prostitute, who's trying to stay clean.

Later that night in the hospital wing, a young black inmate (Ruby) is smoking some weed. She's taken by surprise by evil guard Smiley, who rapes her.

Michelle has her first meeting with the warden.

"They call this place The Cage. The guards...the zookeepers and you are the animals. As long as you stay loyal to me I'll protect you and you'll have certain privileges."

Their little chat is interrupted by some news from the hospital wing. Ruby has hung herself...well, it looks like suicide anyway.

We know better, though. And so does the warden...she knows Smiley is involved.

"This is the last time I save your ass"

"Come on, what's all the fuss about?"

"Get your hands off the girls!"

"What about you, warden?"

"Take off your stupid glasses, Smiley!"

Oooh...the drama.

Tensions are mounting. Brenda, the leader of the black inmates, wants to have a word with Amy. She knows Amy had been dealing drugs to Ruby and she is pissed off. "You let her down when she needed it the most".

There's a big fight and Michelle decides to intervene.

She's not that used to fighting, so she hits the floor pretty quickly.

Luckily, the warden comes to the rescue.

BANG!!

"Next shot fired won't be in the air!"

Michelle is sent to the hospital wing and the warden makes a visit.

"I told you they were animals"

The warden tries to get Michelle to be a snitch, but Michelle isn't having it.

Later on, the black girls apologises to Michelle.

Then, in the dining hall, she's just minding her own business, when...

Ouch!

Rita's back!!

...and she's pissed off!

Luckily, Sheila is having none of it.

"I said I'm in charge here or do I have to beat that into your dumb skull?"

But Rita is not gonna let it go that easy.

"You better keep your ass out of dark corners, baby!"

Poor Michelle. That night she has a nightmare, where Rita attacks her in the shower.

Next day, the warden tries again to get Michelle to be a prison snitch.

"Look, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna spy for you."

"Too bad. You lost your protection, girl."

Uh Oh! And the warden isn't wasting any time. She has a meeting with Rita, where she suggests they work together.

Rita challenges Sheila to a fight in the courtyard...

...and completely kicks her ass.

Rita is now the big cheese amongst the white inmates...and Michelle is next on her list.

But, she's sneaky and starts working on Amy first.

"When are you gonna learn? Once a junkie, always a junkie."

The warden wasn't kidding and Michelle is taken to the solitary cell for no apparent reason...and Smiley is given the keys to the cell. Eeek!

He takes Michelle by surprise when she's sleeping...

...but Michelle is becoming quite a tough cookie...

...and pretty much destroys him.

Rita has had enough of Amy's trying-to-stay-clean business. She and the girls attack her in the shower and injects her with heroin.

New guard Rhonda has a word with Michelle about what happened. Michelle tells her what she knows about the warden, Smiley and Rita.

And just like that...Amy is hooked again!

And suddenly, her friendship with Michelle means nothing. She just needs that next fix...and Rita's the one with the goods. "Kitten wants some catnip, huh? From now on you owe me!". Nooooooo...don't do it Amy!

In the laundry room, she tells Michelle about a great hiding spot in the basement.

Michelle goes down to have a look...

...but Rita's waiting for her with a big knife...

...just as she's about to stick it to Michelle, Amy has a moment of clarity and saves the day.

But poor Amy...she's pretty screwed. She has betrayed Michelle and pissed off Rita big time.

And sure enough...it doesn't take long. Later on when Amy's taking a shower, Rita shows up.

She puts some giant shards of glass in Amy's mouth and punches her in the face.

Ouch!

And like that...Amy is no more...

...and meanwhile, tension amongst the black inmates is starting to reach boiling point. They know about Smiley and Ruby and they're not happy.

Michelle finds Amy...

...and heads over to Rhonda. It turns out she's an undercover cop, there to investigate allegations of corruption and abuse....Michelle doesn't care...and forces her to hand over her gun.

And there it is...

RIOT!

The black inmates are out...and the first person on their list is Smiley!

The warden mobilises the armed guards...

There's not much Smiley can do...a gazillion against one. He gets what's coming to him.

Rita manages to steal Smiley's gun and she goes looking for Michelle.

They have one might fight in the basement, involving all sorts of things...fire extinguishers etc.

In the end, our girl Michelle wins...of course! That old kick-her-into-the-electricity-cupboard trick.

Awww....everything is just marvellous. Rhonda knows about all the bad stuff and Michelle is released. She can go home to her horse!

Wowzers...The Naked Cage is a total blast from start to finish. It's exciting...completely bonkers at times...and just really, really entertaining.

Director Paul Nicholas was no stranger to the WiP genre. His Chained Heat (starring Linda Blair) is another favourite of mine and definitely worth checking out as well.

Hmmm...what next...running out of prison movies. Suggestions are most welcome.

I watch movies so you don't have to #8 - Getting Even aka Deadbeat aka Tomcats (1977) - contains spoilers

2012-01-10T11:05:00.001Z

OK...here we go...another revenge movie. This one has had so many different titles I have no idea what the original was or which one is the "official". The title screen on the copy I watched was Getting Even, but imdb lists it as Deadbeat. However, the only poster art I could find was with the title Tomcats.

Let's start with this title. The dictionary definition of Tomcat is "To be sexually active with more than one partner. Used of men.". That would suggest a film involving handsome men and loads of willing ladies. But, with this actually being a rape-revenge movie, it's just highly inappropriate. And not just that...there's also some hideously misleading poster art.

Seriously?

But, but...anyway...I have no idea how long-lived that title was and as I said, the version I watched was called Getting Even. Sure, that's a really rubbish title, but at least it is relevant to the story of the film.

Soooo....

Getting Even aka Deadbeat aka Tomcats aka Avenged (1977)
Directed by: Harry Kerwin
Starring: Chris Mulkey, Polly King

That's right...Chris Mulkey...you might remember him as Hank from Twin Peaks...or from Mysterious Skin. He's a pretty cool guy.

Let's see what it's all about, shall we...

We start off in a diner, where pretty blonde Wendy is just finishing up the night shift with her friendly boss Harry.

Harry has a big date on and is eager to get out of the place. Wendy, being nice, tells him to leave and she'll finish up on her own.

Harry's a bit hesitant. You don't really leave a young lady on her own in a slightly dodgy-looking diner at night, right? But, she insists, is very persuasive and eventually he gives in.

We know something they don't, however. Throughout the opening scene we've been treated to some seriously spooky music, suggesting that this is not a good night to be alone in that diner. A POV shot slowly tracking towards the diner, combined with some heavy breathing voiceover isn't helping much either. Someone is coming...and he doesn't sound too friendly!

Harry leaves and just as Wendy is about to lock the front door, the phone rings. She leaves the keys on the counter and goes to answer.

It's her dad...she promises to be home shortly.

She hangs up...

...turns around...

Aaaargh!

Surprise!

Not just one baddie...a whole gang of them...and they're armed!

They take the till money, then turn to Wendy, tear her clothes off and rape her.

But...what they don't notice is that someone is watching through the window!

It's obvious that there's some tension within the group. They're arguing a lot...and they're fighting with each otehr a lot...but not about whether they're going too far or not...oh no...these guys are all assholes...each as bad as the other.

Not sure of his name, but old beardy is obviously the leader. He waits for the others to finish with Wendy, then takes the shotgun and...

There's a bit of a hint that the others might not approve of this...but it's not really developed any further.

"It's like old Buffalo Bill gets another knock on his gun"
"You tell that to him you'll be one too"

They take off, still unaware that the fat guy has been watching through the window. He even gets a view of their license plate.

So, our baddies have been introduced...we need a good guy. Enter Cullen Garrett, a young man living with his girlfriend, Tracy. They're in the middle of a "private moment" when the phone rings.

"It's Wendy, Tracy. She's dead"

Oh no! Turns out Tracy was Cullen's sister.

We also find out that the fat man watching through the window was Old Red, the town drunk. The police pick him up as he's been saying some highly suspicious things abouth murders and rapes.

Cullen and Tracy attends the funeral. The baddies? Well, they're just relaxing...playing cards...treating a girlfriend like shit...general bad guy stuff.

At the station, the police manage to bribe Old Red with some booze and he tells them what he can remember. It's not much, but at least they know they're dealing with a group of males, driving a truck with out-of-town number plates.

Understandably, Colin is finding it difficult to concentrate. He's an aspiring prosecutor and should really be getting into his course work, but with the murder of his sister and all that...he just can't focus.

I'm not quite sure how Ben and Tom are related to Cullen (and Wendy). Uncle and Grandad maybe? Anyway, Ben is a s retired policeman and Tom is one of the detective's in charge of the investigation.

Later on, the gang heads out on another "mission"...and it's another diner...with another lone waitress.

This time they kidnap the waitress, throw her in their truck, where they rape her and eventually shoot her. It's really not pretty.

It's all getting a bit too miserable, but there's some light on the horizon. Thanks to old drunken Red, the truck is spotted and the gangis pulled over...

...not only that...they are also completely wasted, giving the cops all sorts of abuse as they get patted own.

"What are you, some kind of faggot?"

This is not really the recommended kind of language or behaviour when you're being busted by the cops.

And they find the shotgun! Hooray!

It's off to court for the shitheads!

Justice at last, right?

Wrong!

Unfortunately, despite all the evidence against them, the court decides that it was all gathered unlawfully. The judge has no choice but to let these scumbags go.

Cullen can't believe it. Horrible beardy man even confesses as he's leaving the court room.

"Hey, your sister wasn't half bad"

Cullen gets pretty pissed off...and fed up with the justice system he's been working hard to serve.

He goes to the shooting range.

And then he starts on his mission. It's a pretty good lesson in how to freak out or scare the shit out of people.

He waits outside a toilet.

His first "victim" arrives and takes up position by the urinal...Cullen moves in and stands next to him...

...then he urinates on him!

They guy gets suprised...then annoyed...and Cullen punches him in the face!

Go, Cullen, go!

"Remember this, cause I'm gonna get you. And you'll never know what's gonna happen, so look behind you every night."

Oooh...he doesn't even kill him. That would be too easy.

But, these guys don't actually seem that worried. Maybe they don't realise how serious he is.

"He's gonna get us, huh? Not if we get him first!"

Uh oh!

Back at Cullen and Tracy's house, Cullen is heading out...and he's armed.

"Where are you going with that gun?"
"It's broken. I'm gonna have it fixed."

Seriously, Cullen...that is a terrible lie...and Tracy certainly doesn't buy it.

"If you love me, you won't go"
"I do love you and that's exactly why I have to go"

"Where are you going?"
"Hunting!"

Oh yeah! Cullen's on his way! And Johnny (the guy from the toilet) is first on the list. He's also getting pretty damn nervous at home. He tries to get some help from his "friends", but they just laugh it off.

Cullen gives him a call...

"You've got about five minutes to live. How does it feel?"

Johnny freaks out and decides to leave. The nice guy he is he tries to use his girlfriend as a shield. He makes his way to his car...

BOOM!

There's Cullen!

And Johnny is no more...

The rest of the gang still don't seem to worried. They're too busy playing pool and bullying each other.

"Hey Billy, you live alone now. You're probably next"

Now Billy's getting a bit a jumpy, so he decides to go home. And sure enough, Cullen's watching for him. He gets him!

Cullen decides that the knife would be too fast, so he drags Billy into the kitchen and tries to push his hand down the waste disposal grinder thing. Unfortunately (actually...that's a horrible thing to say, but anyway) the rest of the gang have caught up and burst through the door. Cullen runs off, but it's really not Billy's day...

In the ensuing confusion he is shot by his own "friends".

Word of the shooting reaches the police. Ben gives Tracy a call to see if Cullen's around.

"He's not here. He's not been here for two days!"

Ben and Tom visit the crime scene and Ben finds Cullen's knife on the couch. He pockets it before anyone else spots it.

Later in the car, he tells Tom about his discovery.

What to do...

"First we find him before somebody else do."
"Then what do we do?"
"Something we can live with."

Next day...our remaining two baddies are getting pretty nervous. They're hiding out in a motel with two prostitutes.

"Give me some wine"
"What do you gotta be drunk for?"
"Look in the mirror, huh"

Oh yeah...things are getting tense...

Finally, one of them makes a move for it. Cullen's waiting outside!

Shoot-out!

Finally...

And there's just one baddie left!

There's a big chase along the beach. Ben, Tom and the rest of the police force are on their way as well.

Finally...Cullen gets the last guy.

"You killed me, asshole"

Haha....I love that line.

Mission accomplished! Cullen tries to give himself in...but Ben and Tom are having none of it.

Instead...they all hug! Awww.

OK...so Deadbeat might not be one of the better rape-revenge films I've seen, but it kept my attention for 90-odd minutes. Sure, it looks pretty cheap and feels a bit sloppy at times, but for a low-budget flick with no real plot to write home about it's pretty well put together. It's a bit confusing and doesn't make a whole lot of sense at times, but that's all part of the charm of these films, right?

The obligatory nudity, over-the-top violence and gore is there, but director Harry Kerwin doesn't overdo it and he manages to differentiate between good and bad violence...even if it's often as simplistic as rape=bad, revenge=good. Still, there's not a chance in hell that anyone would feel any sympathy for the baddies here.

Allo Darlin' (live at The Lexington, 5th January 2012)

2012-01-06T11:03:00.001Z

Here are some photos and a video from last night's Allo Darlin' show. The band was great as usual and the new songs work beautifullly live.

So, what happens when you keep your camera in a tote bag, then take it into a really warm venue...

Voila! Homemade hipstamatic! That's what happens.

Eventually, it will thaw...

Here's a video of Allo Darlin' playing The Letter, a new song from their upcoming album Europe, which will be released in the spring by Fortuna POP! in the UK/Europe and Slumberland Recrds in the US of A.

Awesome!

Allo Darlin' will be heading out on a UK tour in February, followed by a massive US tour in April/May. Visit their website(www.allodarlin.com) for details.

I watch movies so you don't have to #7 - Invasion Of The Bee Girls (1973) - contains spoilers and some nudity

2012-01-04T13:50:00.000Z

Invasion Of The Bee Girls (1973)
Directed by: Denis Sanders
Starring: William Smith, Anitra Ford, Victoria Vetri

Yup, that's right. The title says it all, really. Invasion Of The Bee Girls. Is it a metaphor? It can't possibly be about bee girls, right?

WRONG!

It certainly is about bee girls...but not your average kind. Oh no, we're talking sex-crazed, killing machine bee girls!

So, let's start from the beginning.

We start off in the small town of Peckham, California, where a motel cleaner stumbles upon the corpse of Professor Grubowski, one of the town's leading scientists.

Aaaargh! A corpse!

The local law enforcement team gets on the case. The autospsy result suggests that Grubowski died from extreme exhaustion. One witness describes hearing a buzzing sound around the time of death, but dismissed it as static from a television set.

But, we know the title, right? Surely, buzzing equals bees! Bee girls!

Anyway, it becomes clear that this is beyond the small local team and a big shot agent from the State Department of Security is sent over.

Neil Agar(William Smith)is our man and he gets to work.

But, before he can even start there's another death in the town. And the cause this time? Heart attack again!

Agar goes to some big library to have a word with Julie Zorn, Professor Grubowski's co-worker (and co-author on some big report on geological warfare...yup, serious stuff), to see if she can shed some light on his death.

Turns out Julie was the last person to see the Professor alive. They had dinner the night he was murdered.

Change of scenery...a couple on a mototcycle, riding along a very pretty road.

They decide to get naked...

...and passionately tumble down a grassy hill...

...then we hear that buzzing noise, the guy dies and the girl calmly walks off...

Hmmm...but, before we can even digest what just happened, we're at a frat party where a frisky young couple retires to a bedroom. They're just about to get down to business, when the girl sits down on the bed...

...and there's another corpse!

That night, unaware of recent events and the increasing bodycount, some colleagues of the Professor discusses his demise in a bar and how it might not be the worst way to die.

"Just think about it. Coming and going at the same time"

Meanwhile, Professor Grubowski's wife, Gretchen, receives a mysterious phone call.

They caller claims to have known her late husband very well and wants to meet. Gretchen agrees.

Later on Agar joins the men in the bar and is introduced to Dr Susan Harris, a leading scientist in town.

She looks mysterious....and why is she wearing sun glasses? Hmmmm.

The next day Agar goes to see a doctor...only to find him dead in the lab....and naked!

More deaths....and we find out that Susan Harris is involved somehow...she seduces a police officer and we hear that buzzing sound again.

Soo...eight deaths. It's time to hold a town meeting. Captain Peters gives the townfolk a bit of a rundown of recent events....ooh...and Susan Harris is in the audience.

So far they have identified three points of uniformity:

1. All the victims have been men
2. All the men have been residents of Peckham
3. They've all died by overexhaustion in the act of sexual intercourse

"Let me put it this way to public, civic and religious leaders of this community. I must stress the importance of total, I repeat total, sexual abstinence"

This speech doesn't go down so well with the men of the town.

So, the film is starting to drag a little....come on...I want to see bee girls in action!

Agar and Julie Zorn share a kiss. He needs to make an important call and asks her to wait in the car. On her way there she's attacked by a group of men.

Luckily, Agar gets there in time and saves the day...he's a pretty good fighter.

As recommended by Agar during his important phonecall, the town is put under immediate military quarantine. The military arrives and sets up roadblocks. Nobody is allowed to leave or enter!

Susan Harris seduces a fellow doctor.

"I'll cook you up something extra special"

I'm not quite sure where the connection was drawn between current events and the mating rituals of insects, but while Susan Harris is at home with her "victim", Neil Agar and Julie Zorn watch a documentary about insects.

"Examples of the female killing the male during mating are numerous in the insect world"

Susan gets undressed and straddles the man...we hear that familiar bee sound...and the man dies...his last moments captured in bee POV!

The following day Agar goes to have a word with Susan Harris. She is very busy with "an important experiment", but agrees to help. He wants to know how many times a queen bee mates.

She replies:

"Only once and only to reproduce. Once accomplished, she never mates again"

Agar leaves and she returns to her experiment.

This is when it starts getting intersting....finally!

It turns out Harris is the mystery caller and is luring the widows of the murdered men into her lab, where she performs acientific experiments on them. It's all very scientific...yup...

First, the ladies are sedated using a gold bee...

...then they're stripped and put in a glass chamber...

...Harris mans the super computer...

...the lab is prepared for the radiation beam thing...

...there's some blue light...probably the radiation...

...the victim is covered in some white goo...

...Harris pushes more blinking buttons on that ADVANCED computer...seriously, I loooove old computers in movies...

...they put on some more goo...

...lock the glass chamber and fill it with bees...

...and Voila! Another bee lady has been created, with crazy bee eyes and all!

Seriously...how amazing is that. This five minute scene is reason enough to watch this movie.

After a succesful transformation...all the bee girls start touching themselves...some celebratory thing, I suppose...a job well done.

Back to (boring) normality. Agar is at factory where another body has been found. Captain Peters goes to see Nora Kline, widow of the last victim.

He doesn't quite get the expected reaction when he tells her about her husband's demise. She tries seducing him.

"No, stay! Keep me company in my time of need!"

She's already one of them!

Peters manages to leave...and just as he does, we hear the sound of bees and see that she has the crazy bee eyes!

Neil Agar has a big important meeting with some doctors, in order to find out more about genetic mutations. It turns out that Norsted (Susan Harris' boss) had been doing some mutation experiments with bees.

The experts manage to shed some light on the situation...

"If this mutation, on the nergy level we're talking about, did occur...it should be detectable by a photosensitive gamma count synthesizer"

Ahh...that old chestnut!

Later on it's time for Professor Grubowski's funeral.

All the widows/bee girls are present.

Luckily, Julie brought her gamma counter gizmo.

The bee girls sense that something is going on.

Wow...the tension is rising...it's almost unbearable, right?

Julie's back at work...

...when Susan Harris arrives and invites her over to the lab...

"It'll be safe. After all, you're a woman"

Julie follows...and guess what!

It's a trap...she's next in line to be turned into a bee girl!

Noooooooooooooooo!

...they start the procedure...

...luckilly, Agar has it all figured out by now and he runs over to the lab!

He shoots at the plugs and computers...

...shoots some more...

...grabs Julie...

...it's pretty chaotic...computers exploding all over the place...

...bee girls dying...

...but he manages to get out and watches the carnage through the window...

All done? Well...almost...a bit of a wrap-up. Captain Peters isn't quite sure what the motivation behind it all was.

"What Dr Harris didn't realise was that the radiation caused them to be sterile...so, as a consequence they were endlessly driven to repeat the mating cycle"

Aaah...ok.

We finish with Agar and Julie finally getting some private time together....on her bed...

...but something is not quite right...indicated by the music...

...and we zoom in on some bees by the window!

Wow! That's it.

I must say, I struggled with this one for a number of reason, many of which weren't necessarily the film's fault. I was watching a shitty copy, where the audio was several seconds out of sync for most of the movie. As you can see from the screenshots, the picture quality wasn't that great either...but I soldiered on.

And...as a film....it's pretty fun, in an obviously very trashy and crap way. It really drags in places and doesn't make much sense most of the time but there are a few scenes in there that really stands out and makes it worth watching.

First post of the year...it's got to be The Germs

2012-01-03T12:52:00.004Z

The other day I decided to watch What We Do Is Secret, the glammed-up biopic about Darby Crash and The Germs. To be honest, my expectations weren't especially high. Who could play Darby Crash?

Turns out, Shane West can. Well, to an acceptable level anyway. None of the flaws of the film can be attributed to West. He does a pretty good job.

My main issue with the film is that it just feels so clean and sterile. I just don't think the punk clubs and warehouses of LA in the late 70's were this clean...even Darby's severe heroin abuse comes out looking pretty glamourous.

Just as a comparison...here's a clip from Penelope Spheeris' incredible documentary The Decline of Western Civilisation of The Germs performing Manimal

And here is the equivalent(ish) scene in the biopic...starting at 3:40 into the clip.

In the end it was a fun thing to watch. Nothing more, nothing less. I learnt a bit about the band and it made me curious to find out more.

If you want to see the original Germs in action (and a bunch of other awesome bands), I do highly recommend Spheeris' Decline..., which is available in its entirety to stream on youtube. So, is the biopic actually.

My top-10 albums of 2011

2011-12-30T14:35:00.001Z

Even if it has been a great year for music, it hasn't been a particularly great one for new albums. I've discovered a lot of new bands and been to alot of awesome shows, but I was struggling a bit to find ten records that had impressed me.

But, I got there in the end...so here goes...in reverse order...my top-10 albums of 2011

Apologies for the random mixture of videos, sound cloud players and youtube 'audio streams'...these are actually just boring "videos" of the album artwork that someone has uploaded, but I've turned the height way down so you only see the player bit. I'm sure this will mess up in some browsers. Sorry.

10. Black Lips – Arabia Mountain
There were some major warning bells when I heard that Mark Ronson was producing the new Black Lips album, but it turned out alright...great even. Arabia Mountain is just a really awesome record! Their last album didn't do much for me, but this one really brought back memories of their incredible Good Bad Not Evil from 2007. Although this is a much bigger sound and much more polished than we're used to, it's never "too much" and in the end the record just feels well-produced rather than over-produced. Great stuff! It's difficult picking a favourite track. There are so many awesome songs to pick from, but in the end I just love the chorus to Mr. Driver too much. It has to be that one. It was stuck in my head for so long over the summer.

Favorite track: Mr. Driver
The Black Lips - Mr. Driver by pillowjungle

9. Cloud Nothings – s/t
This one was released in the early days of the year and I was still listening to it regularly in the summer. That doesn't happen very often, so hats off to Dylan Baldi & Co. This is fun and bouncy garage pop of the best kind. Not overly serious, but never too juvenile either. I also managed to catch them live twice and they're sooo much fun. And then there's the videos! Eeek...some maximum weirdness going on there. It's a great song, but I'm still not sure how I feel about the gagging-on-hair video for Should Have. It's on youtube if you like that sort of thing. So, high expectations for this gang in the next year, since they already seem to have everything sorted...great on record, great live show and great (but weird) videos.

Favorite track: Not Important
Cloud Nothings - Not Important by polaroidblog

8. Standard Fare – Out Of Sight, Out Of Town
After their amazing debut album last year, this was surely one of the most eagerly awaited indiepop releases of 2011. Did it live up to expectations? Of course it did! Emma is one of the best songwriters in indiepopland and this is another great record. And it's not just Emma...some of my favourite tracks on the record are Danny's this time. The songs on here are all great, but I must say that for me Standard Fare are really a live band...that's when the songs really shine.

Favorite track: Call Me Up

7. Let's Wrestle – Nursing Home
Let's Wrestle went all the way across the Atlantic to record this one. And who was doing the knob turning if not indie legend Steve Albini! Was it worth it...did they really need to? I'm not sure. The songs are all great, but I do find some of the production a bit strange...especially the drum sound on some of the songs (mainly on If I Keep On Loving You). Was this on purpose? Maybe. I don't know. The classic punk records are not really famous for their amazingly recorded drums. Anyway, who cares? It's all about the songs and as I said they are all amazing! Another brilliant record from London's finest punk kids.

Favorite track: In Dreams Part II

6. Veronica Falls – s/t
It was a long wait, but Veronica Falls finally released their album. Yes, there are quite a few songs on there that had already been released on various seven-inches, but those songs are all fucking ace and it would be a shame for people discovering the band to miss out, so that's fine in my book. This is dreamy garage pop at it's very best. It's not often I notice these things, but I really love their drums. They take you by surprise over and over again and just when you think it's not working...it just becomes part of it all and works just perfectly. Did that make any sense? Probably not. Same thing with the lyrics. I have no idea what most of the songs are about, but every time I try to listen and make sense of them I get carried away by the music and the subject matter becomes irrelevant.

Favorite track: Bad Feeling

5. John Maus – We Must Become the Pitiless Censors of Ourselves
I don't really know much about John Maus, apart from that he occasionally plays with Ariel Pink and is on Upset The Rhythm's label. Oh, and that this album is fucking incredible. That's all I need to be sure of for this kind of list, I suppose. It's full of echoey and reverbey goodness, with repetitive melodies that wrap around your brain like some sort of warm crazy blanket. Erm...yes...and then you find yourself humming 'let's kill the cops tonight' out loud on the tube and people stare. But, it's great! He's also a complete loon bag (in the best possible way) live...an absolutely mesmerising performer.

Favorite track: Cop Killer

4. The Death Set – Michael Poiccard
I've listened an insane amount to the Death Set's 2008 record, Worldwide, so this one had a lot to live up to. After the sad death of bandmate Beau Valesco in 2009, the band understandably took a bit of time to figure out what to do. Nobody would have blamed them for calling it a day, since Beau was very much part of what made them such a great band, both on record and live. But they decided that he wouldn't have wanted them to give up...and what better way to keep ones memory alive than to keep doing the thing they loved. From the first line "I wanna take this tape and blow up your fucking stereo!" to the last note, Michael Poiccard is just bursting with energy, some happy, some sad, some angry and some just very sweet. It's certainly better produced than Worldwide and although I kinda miss the rubbish drum machines at times, Michael Poiccard is still definitely a record that I'll keep on playing for a long time.

Favorite track: Can You Seen Straight?

3. Times New Viking - Dancer Equired
If there was one band I hoped would never "clean up their sound" it was Times New Viking. I adore all of their previous releases and as news of a change in direction for this record started popping up on the interwebs, I was getting worried. Part of their charm (to me anyway) was that you had to work hard to appreciate the songs. Somewhere under the cloud of hissy, distorted noise were these beautiful and incredibly catchy melodies. I shouldn't have worried...even though this is a massively smooth record in Times New Viking terms, it is still far from clean and dull. And those melodies...they're are as strong as ever! Awesome!

Favorite track: Fuck Her Tears
Fuck Her Tears by Times New Viking

2. Humousexual – Grenzenlos
It's only seven tracks, but I'm gonna call it an album. Sue me. This record just blew me away in a way I never expected. Sure, I like Tahini Beach Party, but it never made me feel like this. From the first song to the last, this is an incredible little album and sadly one that far too few people will ever hear. Or is it sad? Maybe we don't want "them" to find out about Humousexual? Maybe they're one of those bands that should be treasured by a few. I'm pretty sure Victor and Boitel are reasonably happy with that...if not, I guess I'll help spread the word some more.

Favorite track: No Borders (but a very close second is the quieter last song, Come On In..and that one is on youtube)

1. Japanther – Beets, Lime and Rice
Readers of this blog will know how I feel about Japanther. They keep impressing me more and more, record after record, show after show and this is no different. It's just awesome. It's a bit less upbeat than last year's Rock n'roll Ice Cream, but you can't just spend your entire life just bouncing up and down, right? Sometimes bad or sad things happen. Heroes die, girlfriends leave...it's all just part of life...and that is one thing this record is full of. It is almost impossible to pick a favourite track here, but I've settled for the opening track. The first time I listened I thought there was something wrong with the recording in the beginning...and then drums kicked in properly...and I was totally blown away. Awesomeness indeed.

Favorite track: First Of All

I think that's it. Can't wait to see what 2012 has in store for us...I hear rumours of a Japanther European tour in February! Eeeek!

I watch movies so you don't have to #6 - School Of The Holy Beast (1974) Warning: SPOILERS!

2011-12-29T11:45:00.000Z

It took me quite a while to get into Japanese movies. I realise this is a mindbogglingly stupid generalisation, but I really tried. Then I tried again and still just never found anything that I liked. Eventually I kinda got into Seijun Suzuki and movies like Branded To Kill (1967) and Tokyo Drifter (1966), but I'm not sure if I actually liked them back then or if it was because Jim Jarmusch told me I should.

Anyway...at some point, without the influence of Mr Jarmusch or anyone else, I discovered Kaneto Shindo and his incredible Onibaba (1964) and Kuroneko (1968). These two films completely blew my mind at the time, in a way that no other Japanese film had ever done. So, a whole new world of cinema opened up to me. Eventually I came across the 'Pinky Violence' genre...and I was sold. There were some incredible films made under this vague blanket description. And in general, Japanese indie cinema in the 70's was fucking incredible...a great mish-mash of horror, martial arts, sex and violence that crossed borders we hadn't even dreamt of yet in the West. And it wasn't even scrappily put together, like so many American 70's sex/exploitation movies. The Japanese ones often looked absolutely INCREDIBLE.

School Of The Holy Beast
Directed by: Noribumi Suzuki
Starring: Yumi Takigawa, Emiko Yamauchi, Ryouko Ima

OK...School Of The Holy Beast. An mind-boggling mix of sex, violence and religious imagery, as well as absolutely stunning to look at. The following review/run-through, contains some mild images of violence and nudity, so read on at your own risk...

We start off in Tokyo (I assume), where a young woman, Maya, is out enjoying herself.

She hooks up with a man and although he wants to see here again, we learn that she's now finished with that life and off to "a place where a woman is no longer a woman", The Convent Of The Holy Beast. Oooh. Intriguing.

And it's a spooky looking place...

She arrives at the convent, where she has to go through an initiation ceremony (naked of course) before becoming a nun.

The rules are laid down...

"There are 73 chapters on the laws of the lord, but the ones to pay the most attention to would be the sins of adultery, murder and stealing"

She's put in a dorm with some slightly more experienced sisters. Her first night is a bit rough. Self-flagellation is a popular way for the sisters to deal with personal issues and Maya is kept awake through the night by the sound of a whip hitting flesh.

The next morning Maya has her first class.

"The sin of adultery is the heaviest sin one can commit among the Lord's laws. Even by thinking such thoughts one has dirtied their own soul"

Maya questions the virgin birth in class and another girl, Ishida, agrees with her. The teacher is NOT impressed.

Later that night Ishida sneaks up to Maya with a bottle of whiskey.

"Wanna drink? I'm happy that a girl like you finally joined"

Naughty, naughty girls...unfortunately, another sister sees them and snitches. Ishida gets into trouble with the headmistress.

Two other nuns get caught stealing sausages...yup...they really like sausages...

...and are severely punished. They are stripped and forced to take turns whipping each other.

Ishida gets suspicious. Two cases of snitching in a day. Maya the newbie is immediately a prime suspect.

OK...so I was getting a bit confused here. It's awfully difficult to keep track of who's who when everyone is wearing identical outfits. But, I soldier on...

So, it turns out that Maya's mother used to be a nun at the convent. She died under mysterious circumstances and Maya has enrolled at the school to find out what happened.

A fight breaks out between Maya and Ishiko and they're both put in solitary confinement.

"Bitch! Don't take me lightly!"

Meanwhile, another nun, Isako's father is seriously ill. Her little sister shows up at the convent to bemoan the fact that praying isn't going to do much to pay for the hospital bills. Soon after, a large amount of money goes missing from the collection box.

We get a crazy dorm search, where no money is found. The teachers do however find some pornographic pictures, that the headmistress promises to burn personally.

Then we get to meet the creepy Priest Takenumi.

Isaku goes into the confession and confesses to stealing the money. At first, the priest seems forgiving and even gives her money to return to the collection box. When she accepts this solution a little too easily he soon becomes violent. He pins her down on the bed and rapes her.

Meanwhile, the headmistress just can't stop herself from looking at the confiscated dirty pictures.

Maya sneaks out one night. She goes to a totally awesome-looking nightclub, where the man from her last night of freedom and his friends are waiting. She has concocted a most devious plan!

She brings the men back to convent. Dressed as nuns they have no problems being inconspicuous. The men enter the headmistress' room, where she is asleep.

They have their wicked ways with the headmistress, who soon seems to start enjoying herself.

"I'll take you to heaven. I'm sure it'll be more effective than prayer"

When finished, the two men run off...one of them still clutching the headmistress' underwear.

Mizuki saw Maya with some suspicious-looking sisters in the hall and is quick to rat her out. She is obviously the evil snitch!

"We will teach her what the wrath of God is all about"

The punishment method this time involves thorns and roses.

Mid-punishment and Ishida finally comes to the rescue.

"You bitches don't play fair, do you?"

She takes the blame and pulls a knife.

"You hysteric sisters. I accept this fight"

Ishida is expelled.

Maya finds out some more details about her mother. It turns out that the current headmistress was responsible for her death. She was being punished for being pregnant and when hanged the force of the fall and the rope forced the child to be born.

That child was Maya. As if that wasn't bad enough...during a cliff-top confrontation with the headmistress Maya finds out that the creepy rapist priest is actually her father.

Just as the headmistress and the priest are plotting to sort out Maya, a new headmaster is sent over from Rome. This sister, Natalie Green, is not going to take any shit from anyone.

"With me in charge, there will be no more breaching of the rules. In this convent, I smell a witch, a follower of the devil, who tries to lead us astray. I will find out who this witch is and expose her!"

Eeek...doesn't sound too good.

And oh no...Isako is pregnant! She is brutally punished and when she tells them the priest did it, nobody believes her. They force her to drink a lot of water...

...and then they put an image of Christ between her legs...if she wets herself and soils it, she's a witch!

All the sisters are told to witness the punishment, but Maya refuses. This doesn't go down too well with Miss Green.

"So you admit you're a heretic?"

The other sisters gather round Ishiko who has now been tied up for hours. Eventually she can't hold it in anymore. She gives in and urinates on the image of Christ.

"This woman is a witch who blasphemes against God"

Meanwhile, the headmistress tries to kill Maya, using a hidden trap-door, but Maya is too fast. The headmistress falls into the trap and dies.

Maya runs over to Isako, but it's too late. She's already dead. Maya destroys the image of Christ, throws a statue of the virgin Mary on the floor, shattering it.

Miss Green and Co confronts Maya and ties her up. The rest of the convent goes to watch the priest deliver a sermon, leaving Maya and Miss Green alone.

"The time of the witch's death has come"

She fills a glass with a red liquid and pours some powder into it.

"It's a poison that will take you to hell in a mere second"

"Now taste your last meal"

"While you burn in hell, the priest and I will have private mess in your room"

But, HA! Maya breaks free and swings from the rope attached to the church bells. She kicks the evil Miss Green through the window and she is impaled on a stake as she hits the ground.

Headmistress, check. Miss Green, check. Only one baddie to go! The priest!

She sneaks into his bed, knowing that he'll expect Miss Green to be there when he gets back. He has sex with her before realising it's not who he expected.

Erm...this was Maya's revenge, I guess.

"I am your daughter. You had sex with your own daughter. You broke every law in your religion as well as your daughter's"

If this logic wasn't weird enough, it goes all supernatural on us.

But, but...the important thing is that the priest dies and Maya can return to civilisation.

Oh dear...that was a lot to take in. I'm pretty sure I got the names right. As I was saying earlier, it is a bit difficult to follow at times, but if you stick with it you sort of get the hang of it. Director Naribumi Suzuki seem to have thing about torture involving being forced to wet yourself. I seem to recall a similar thing happening in a previous effort of his, the absolutely incredible Terrifying Girls' High School: Lynch Law Classroom (1973).

So, while I really enjoyed School Of The Holy Beast, it's not one of my favourite Pinky Violence films. There is heaps and heaps of nudity and quite often it seems like they were struggling to think of how to squeeze in some more. But, but...it's part of the game. Anyway, it looks absolutely stunning and the violence is not actually as horrific as I might have made it out to be. The thing about these films is that the violence is often very cartoonish and over-the-top, making the onscreen horrors much easier to digest. With the blood a luminous solid red, you're never allowed to forget that you're watching a piece of fiction.

School Of The Holy Beast is available on R1 DVD from Cult Epics as part of their Nunsploitation Convent Collection.

VHS!

2011-12-27T21:24:00.001Z

I know it's probably a bad idea, but I've kind of started buying VHS tapes again. Not too many and not just any old films. At the moment I'm sticking to the ones with incredible/ridiculous artwork. It's just too sad to leave them in the charity shop bargain bins.

They just don't make sleeves like these anymore...

I haven't had the chase to sit down and watch any of these yet...yes I also bought a VCR...but one of these days I definitely will. I think Invasion USA will have to be the first screening.

I watch movies so you don't have to #5 - 99 Women (1969) Warning: SPOILERS!

2011-12-26T12:33:00.001Z

99 WOMEN (1969)
Directed by: Jess Franco
Starring: Maria Schell, Mercedes McCambridge, Maria Rohm, Rosalba Neri

Even if I've seen a fair amount of Jess Franco's films, I have barely scratched the surface on his almost ridiculously long filmography. It's always difficult to pick one...there’s just so much to choose from and from what I’ve read, there are alot of terrible ones. Since 1959, Franco has directed close to 200 films, many of which (pretty much everything post-1983) are meant to be barely watchable. But, amongst all the shit, there are also many films held in high regard amongst cult/exploitation cinema fans. 99 Women is one of those.

The film start off with three women arriving at The Castle of Death, a women’s prison where they’re about to start lengthy sentences. If the name of the place wasn’t bad enough, the music tells us it’s not going to be a leisurely stay. As soon as the superintendent appears, some seriously dramatic music starts playing. BAD LADY ALERT!

The three girls are stripped of their identities and assigned numbers 97 to 99. See, 99 Women. Although we only really get to meet a handful of inmates, the title of the movie refers to the total number of prisoners in the castle.

Baddie superintendent on the left...laying down the rules...

“From now on you have no name, only a number. You have no future, only the past, You have no hope, only regret. You have no friends, only me.”

Cheery start, huh?

These prison cells aren’t your normal concrete boxes. Instead this is more of a cave with bars...which is nice for a change...for the viewer, that is...

At first there seems to be a bit of camaraderie between the inmates, but if I’ve learnt anything from previous Women-In-Prison movies, it’s that there’s always an evil inmate...an experienced one, used to getting her way. Who’s it going to be this time? Chances are it’s gonna be number 76, Zoei (played by the gorgeous Rosalba Neri)

And as expected, there’s a sleazy Governor involved...

We learn early on that he likes to have his wicked ways with some of the prisoners. He certainly seems intrigued by the news of a new blonde arrival, number 99 (Marie to you and me).

That night, Natalie is very sick. Not yet familiar with the do’s and don’ts of the prison, Marie screams for a doctor. The Superintendent is having none of it.

“We need a doctor badly, mam”
“The result of insolence is seven days in the punishment cells”
“But the girl in the next cell, she needs help”
“The result of repeated insolence is fourteen days in the punishment cells”

Natalie is already dead when the doctor finally arrives. He questions the recent three deaths and the repeated delays in calling for assistance, to which the superintendant coldly replies:

“you’re a doctor, what could you have done? They were dead. All of them, dead when we found them.”

Marie and Zoei are confined together after a fight breaks out.

“Shut up! Why are you crying? You and that bitch of a friend have hurt me. Look at my leg! My beautiful leg!”

The Governor pays them a visit...wonder what he has in mind?

“Love and hate are never very far apart. And sometimes they go together.”

“It’s hot in here. Let’s make ourselves comfortable.”

Zoei knows the score. She’s obviously been here before. She tears the clothes of Marie.

Word is out that there’s something dodgy going on at the castle. An inspector is sent over by the Ministry of Justice to assess the situation. The Superintendent is not too pleased about her working methods being questioned.

Zoei (76) and Marie (99) start warming to each other a bit. We get to know how Zoei ended up on the island.

She used to be a dancer in a club and soon learned that taking your clothes off is part of any job and always makes things easier.

Her lover wanted to take her away from the club, but the female boss refused to let her go. During a fight Zoei accidentally killed her boss and was found guilty of murder.

Anyway...back to prison...

Apparently this is what hard labour does to your finger nails.

The new inspector takes a bit of a shine to Marie and starts taking an interest in her case and her treatment. But, can she be trusted? Marie is willing to take a chance...for now anyway.

We also learn that Diego, boyfriend of redhead prisoner Rosalie and prisoner in the male prison on the other side of the island, is planning an escape.

Meanwhile, tensions are growing between the Superintendent and the new inspector.

“More trust in your prisoners, Miss Diaz, could mean fewer punishments and make this a happier place.”
“The purpose of a prison...is punishment for crimes. This is not meant to be a happy place!”
“In that case your efforts here can be considered extremely successful.”

The girls start discussing escape plans, to coincide with the escape over at the male prison. As part of a more lenient approach by the new inspector, night warden duties have been cancelled...something which should make the whole thing easier to pull off.

“It will be tough if we make it. If we fail, it will be worse”

Zoei is not really to be trusted, so is not part of the escape plans. Instead, she spends alot of time showing off her legs.

Night time! Prison break! And it’s the classic bedlinen rope technique! Hooray!

They run through the jungle...

...kill a snake...

...and find a lake.

Here they bump into one of the male escapees, Ricardo. We learn that Diego, Rosalie’s boyfriend, was shot by guards during the escape. Distraught, she finds some solace in Ricardo, who promised the dying Diego to look after and love her.

The love scene that follows is actually surprisingly tender and well-handled, but this is one of Franco’s main skills. When at his best, he has a natural gift for being charming and seedy, disturbing and beautiful at the same time.

It looks like Marie could do with a cuddle herself.

The four continue their trek through the jungle, but the problem just keeps stacking up. Ricardo is shot by male escapees, who instead of feeling sympathy for our gang and working together, are more interested in female flesh. Rosalie is attacked and left for dead.

Our remaining two ladies struggle on. They manage to get to the fishing village, but their joy is short-lived.

The Governor and the Superintendent are waiting for them with heavily armed guards and it’s back to prison, where things are about to get BAD.

The inspector gives up. She has failed in even gaining the trust of the prisoners...and the Governor and the Superintendent has no interest in changing their ways.

“I seem to be a victim of a disease that doesn’t flourish behind prison walls. I suffer from an excess of humanity.”

She leaves...

Hmm. So, it ends on a bit of a downer. Our girls are left with the baddies.

99 WOMEN is better than many WiP movies. Even if there is a fair amount of female flesh on show, it’s not excessive. The love scenes are surprisingly tender and in general it is a very well-crafted film. The photography is gorgeous and the film is a pleasure to watch. The violence is not really exploited either and is usually hinted at rather than being too graphic.

Saying that, I watched the Director's cut. There is also an XXX-rated version out there, that apparently adds several xxx scenes into the mixture. Like so often is the case, these scenes are supposed to sit pretty awkwardly with the rest of the film.

So, that's one more Franco film ticked off to list...and it's good one...just 190 or so to go.

SANTA'S COMING!

2011-12-25T09:34:00.002Z

It's Chriiiiiiistmas...

Here's Kermit and John Denver...I'm pretty sure I posted this one last year as well, but no Christmas would be complete without the voice of that sweet little green frog.

Merry Christmas everyone!

Allo Darlin' and The Wave Pictures (live at The Railroad Cafe)

2011-12-24T11:17:00.001Z

Last night was great. Two amazing bands playing to a crowd of 40 people in a little basement in Hackney. That's how you're supposed to experience live music.

Allo Darlin...

The Wave Pictures playing an old classic...Now You Are Pregnant

1 Day to Christmas...depending on where you live (Disney)

2011-12-24T10:53:00.001Z

Today is a bit weird for me. Being Swedish and all, today is THE DAY, the day when Santa comes round and does his thing. You have the big meal, the family gathering, all that stuff. It's all meant to happen today. So, being in the UK is always a bit weird at Christmas. The 24th isn't really a big thing here...and then the 25th never meant much to me.

But, but...here goes...

Disney is a big part of the Swedish Christmas celebrations. That sounds horrible, but it's actually kinda sweet. At 3pm everyone watches Donald Duck's Christmas Special. Seriously, everyone...they've been showing the same programme at 3pm every year since 1960. It's a collection of shorts, some of them Christmassy, some not. It's hard to pick a favourite, but this is probably it...

Or this one...it's definitely the best Christmassy one...

2 Days to Christmas (Merry Christmas from Nirvana)

2011-12-23T14:21:00.000Z

Not long to go now!

This clip always makes me smile...a little snippet of We Wish You A Merry Christmas from Nirvana.

And while I'm at it...if you need a yuletide horror for the weekend, I suggest you check out Silent Night, Deadly Night. Contains DEATH BY ANTLERS! yup.

3 Days to Christmas (A Charlie Brown Christmas)

2011-12-22T10:43:00.000Z

"Charlie Brown. You're the only person I know, who can take a wonderful season like Christmas and turn it into a problem"

Aww...I looooove A Charlie Brown Christmas...I haven't watched this in its entirety for so long. I definitely think that needs to be rectified this Christmas.

46 years old and still just perfect.

And...in general you shouldn't mess around with these things, but I do love Scrubs. So, here's A Charlie Brown Christmas performed by the cast of Scrubs.

4 Days to Christmas (The Vandals live)

2011-12-21T10:29:00.001Z

Only four days to go. I even baked yesterday. Oh yes. Gingerbread men, gingerbread ladies AND gingerbread trees.

Look!

Sadly, being in the UK meant I couldn't find and pig shaped cookie cutters. Well, I did find some, but they were not the right shape...like this one:

Stupid country. But, we'll have to survive.

Where was I? Oh, yes...counting down to Christmas with music.

The Vandals was one of my favorite bands growing up. They've been around for ages...an early line-up of the band even feature in Penelope Spheeris' classic 1983 punk film Suburbia.

Only remaining member from those early days is Joe Escalante, a man of, to say the least, many talents. Not only is he a bass player in a punk band, he also finds the time to be a lawyer, bull fighter and filmmaker! Yikes! Well, at least he used to find the time to do all those things.

The band is still going, but haven't released an album since 2004. That was Hollywood Potato Chip, an album that has been surrounded by controversy ever since. Not for any opinions expressed or for lyrical content, but for its album cover, which was a parody of showbiz industry shitrag The Daily Variety. For the band name they used a font similar to The Daily Variety's logo...and then all hell broke loose. I won't go into any detail, but the evil big guys sued the nice little guys and the expensive lawsuit has been going on ever since.

You can read all about it on the Vandals vs Daily Variety blog

OK...back to Christmas. In 1996 The Vandals released Oi To The World, a totally awesome festive pop punk record. Here are a couple of live versions of tracks from that release.

Hang Myself From The Tree (live in 2009)

A Gun For Christmas (live in 2003)

I watch movies so you don't have to #4 - Rape Squad, aka Act Of Vengeance (1974) - SPOILERS!

2011-12-20T21:18:00.000Z

Christmas is just around the corner and what better way to celebrate the jolliest of season than by watching a seasonal rape-revenge thriller from the mid-70's, the golden age of such films. Rape Squad (aka Act Of Vengeance) is perhaps not one of the best in the genre, but it's definitely a weird one, mixing an aggressive all-men-are-potential-rapists sentiment with regular naked-jacuzzi-revenge-plotting and comedy fighting, often put together with the energy of a corporate video.

Personally, I think Rape Squad is a far more attention-grabbing title than what they eventually settled for. Maybe it was giving people the wrong idea.

So, what is it all about...

Our main girl Linda is attacked and brutally raped by a maniac wearing an orange jumpsuit and a hockey mask (a whole EIGHT YEARS before Jason Voorhees finally dons his iconic mask in Friday The 13th III (1982). It's an absolutely horrific scene, with the rapist forcing her to first thank him for choosing her and then to sing Jingle Bells for him during the rape.

Bruised and battered Linda goes to the police station to report the rape, but is met with no sympathy from the officers. Despite the 'Jingle Bells rapist' being known at the station, she is put in one uncomfortable situation after another, where it is repeatedly suggested that she might be partly responsible for what happened.

"Did you say no at the first point of body contact" asks the interrogating officer, to which she bluntly replies "well, the first body contact was a kick in the face". "It's just a routine questionnaire", he sheepishly and half-heartedly apologizes. That's it. Linda's had it with insensitive cops. "It's not routine to me! I've been raped and want something done about it!", she screams.

Eventually, all five victims of Jingle Bells are called in to the police station to try and identify him from a line-up. The difficulties in identifying a hockey-mask wearing maniac soon becomes obvious and the police tells them there's not much that can be done.

But the girls won't give up. They decide to form a Rape Squad, a group providing support to rape victims. They also intend to help prevent more attacks, by "taking care" of potential rapists through anonymous tip-offs .

Probably half an hour in and we still haven't met a single likeable male character. The police certainly doesn't approve of their group. Even Linda's boyfriend suggests that she probably was responsible for the attack in some way. When they put up their Rape Squad flyers, they are immediately accosted by male creeps, incapable of showing any sort of sympathy for the girls or their cause, with one stranger commenting that "a little rape once in a while should make life more enjoyable".

But, despite the hurdles, the girls soldier on. They have no intention of giving up, oh no. They start taking karate lessons (from a female teacher naturally) and are told to concentrate on what is every man's weak spot and to not be afraid of fighting dirty.

And then it's time for some topless-jacuzzi-revenge-plotting! Seriously. It comes as quite a surprise, but I can only assume that the filmmakers were doubting the commercial appeal of going all-out with the anti-male agenda...and since men would have been the main audience for the film, they felt the need to at least give them a bit of flesh.

Other women start taking notice of the Rape Squad and soon the tip-offs start coming in. A sleazy nightclub owner was apparently let off by the court, so the girls head over to his club. Linda dresses seductively, starts flirting with the owner and soon finds herself on his sofa. When he tries to come on to her and she objects, he gets violent.

BOOM! Rape Squad to the rescue! The other girls have been waiting outside and kick in the door, beat the creep up and trash his house. They tie him to the bed and pour permanent blue skin dye on his penis, so he can be easily identifiable, should he ever try his dirty tactics again.

"You like to force yourself on women, stud?"

So, we're getting quite far into the movie and it's starting to bug me on many levels. One problem is how it's all shot. It's not that it's badly made...quite often it's just handled in a frustratingly boring way. And it really is a shame. Jingle Bells is an extremely creepy character and it could have been done much more efficiently. It looks like a graduation project where some film school student has decided to make a gritty exploitation film, but been afraid of leaving the textbook behind when it comes to the techhnical aspects. So, there are loads of interesting ideas, but the execution just contradicts the grittiness of the plot.

Anyway...unfortunately, our gang are not getting any closer to catching Jingle Bells...and he's still very much out there. "I'm just your friendly neighbourhood hockey player" he says as he approaches his next victim.

After accidentally killing this victim, we get a disturbing glimpse into the mind of Jingle Bells, through some internal monologue.

"Damn, I actually killed someone. Don't think I want that to happen again, now. It's not a nice feeling. Got to find a new one. Get my mind off that"

With Jingle Bells now being both a murederer and a rapist the police are beginning to object louder to the work of the Rape Squad. But the girls won't listen and decide they are now needed more than ever.

They're alerted to an abusive pimp and practise their karate skills on him.

"See you around, pimp!"

Here's another problem. Thorughout the film, much of the fighting just looks like comedy fighting and it makes it very hard to take it seriously. It just doesn't know what kind of film it wants to be.

However, there's never anything funny about Jingle Bells and he's following the work of Rape Squad closely. He finally lures the whole gang over to an abandoned zoo. I think I'll leave it there for you to find out what happens.

I don't know if I can really "recommend" Rape Squad. It certainly has some interesting ideas going, but the execution lets it down. Jingle Bells is a truly creepy villain, one of the better ones I've seen in a long time.

So, there are definitely better rape-revenge thrillers out there, but there are probably many worse as well. Watch at your own risk.

5 Days to Christmas (Joseph Spence - Santa Claus Is Coming To Town)

2011-12-20T13:10:00.000Z

It's pretty impossible to dislike Joseph Spence. Sure, it's not something I can sit and listen to for extended periods, but every now and then, there's nothing quite like a Joseph Spence song to brighten up ones day.

Here's his take on that holiday classic, Santa Claus Is Coming To Town. Crazy rhythm, a crazy beat, crazy guitar playing and even crazier singing...all in the best possible way.

If that fails to put a Christmassy smile on your lips, you're definitely going (and staying) on the naughty list.

6 Days to Christmas (The Emotron/Casio Casanova - Drink Until Your Problems Go Away)

2011-12-19T11:33:00.002Z

I have a bit of a love-hate relationship with The Emotron. I do love a lot of his music, but it can go from funny and awesome to annoying and stupid in the space of a single verse. Unfortunately, it even seems to happen in some of my favorite Emotron songs.

Anyway, he just put a new song up on youtube...a Christmassy cover....drinking is quite Christmassy...I suppose. And it's acoustic for a change.

Here is a more electronic live version of the song...

Drink Until Your Problems Go Away by The Emotron

And finally...I said it was a cover and it is...here's the original by Casio Casanova.

Casio Casanova - Drink Until Your Problems Go Away by sethlgraves

I'm suddenly feeling quite thirsty.

7 Days to Christmas (Casiotone For The Painfully Alone - Cold White Christmas, live)

2011-12-18T11:33:00.002Z

Just one week to go!

It's freezing outside...but still no sign of snow :(

I love Casiotone For The Painfully Alone, I really do. This video is from one of Owen's last shows before calling it a day last year. I always preferred it when he played solo, but this full band version is still quite sweet.

It's a beautiful song, from the album Etiquette.

COLD WHITE CHRISTMAS
cap & gown in purple & gold
you're 22 years old & a woman now you're told
Aunt Beth & Charlie cut a check for the graduating niece
& you marked your independence with a signature on a lease
but home was a photograph you taped to your wall
it's gonna be a cold white Christmas in St Paul
beer for breakfast who's gonna scold
you've got your early hours dulled by the cigarettes you rolled
second shift as a fry cook that's your holiday in grease
& you trudge to work through the snow in a coat down to your knees
& you linger at the twinkle lights as you pass by the mall
& count the days to a cold white Christmas in St Paul
feather down the nights get so cold
& you ignore the smell of mold as you smooth out the folds
when you're on your own you've got no one to please
in a Minnesota city just as bare & as mean as the winter trees
but you'll be damned if you're the one making collect calls
on a cold white Christmas in St Paul
yeah it's a cold white Christmas in St Paul

8 Days to Christmas (The Ramones - Merry Christmas (I Don't Want To Fight Tonight)

2011-12-17T17:15:00.000Z

It just wouldn't be Christmas without The Ramones.

9 Days to Christmas (Withered Hand - Real Snow)

2011-12-16T11:27:00.001Z

I saw Dan play this song at the Hangover Lounge a couple of months ago and I remember thinking it was so perfect and just beautiful. Now it's available as a video that's just, for lack of better words, also perfect and just beautiful.

Withered Hand has a new EP out on 7" in February and it is definitely one of my most highly anticipated new releases for 2012. I think you're meant to be able to pre-order it from the Fence Records website, but I just couldn't find any details of how to. However, It is very possible that I just wasn't looking hard enough.

It's not the first time Withered Hand has given us a Christmas Treat. Back in 2009, he gave us It's A Beautiful Lie, a song that is still available for download for free here.

Have a nice weekend. I hope it snows wherever you are.

10 Days to Christmas (Paul Baribeau - Christmas Lights, live)

2011-12-15T12:57:00.001Z

It took a while, but I'm finally starting to feel a bit Christmassy. And it's about time...just ten days to go!

We bought a small tree and decorated it...

...and I bought some presents...now all that's missing is some proper Swedish mulled wine.

Christmas songs...there are alot of terrible, terrible Christmas songs out there, so many that it's easy to forget the amazing ones...and there are plenty of those as well. So, I thought I'd do a countdown, featuring some of my personal favorites. It might not just be songs, could be random video clips as well. Who knows?

Anyway, today's one is from Paul Baribeau. A beautiful song, performed live here in someone's house.

Line that gets me every time...

"Sometimes I don't want to make new friends. Sometimes I just miss my old friends"

Perfect.

Video of the day (Bratmobile live in 1993)

2011-12-14T13:14:00.003Z

Bratmobile are amazing. fact.

Top-10 gigs of 2011

2011-12-07T10:53:00.001Z

Here goes...the ten best/most memorable gigs I've been to this year.

10. Let's Wrestle (26th February 2011, The Victory)
This one was a hard one to decide on. I've been to so many great shows this year...but there can only be ten in a top-10. Maybe it's unfair to pick a gig that I can't really remember much of...all I know is that I had a lot of fun. It was dirty, smelly and hideously cramped but I was too drunk to care. I'm pretty sure it was awesome!

9. The Death Set (13th April 2011, Old Blue Last)
The show that almost didn't happen. The Death Set were meant to play the night before, but had to cancel because of some transport issues. I can't remember happened exactly, but they didn't get to the venue in time for curfew anyway. Luckily, the venue managed to find a slot for them the following night. It was my first time seeing them live and it was just as great as I'd imagined.

8. Withered Hand, Standard Fare and Tigercats (9th February 2011, Catch)
The only show I promoted this year, but it sure was a good one. It didn't matter that it was unbelievably packed, uncomfortable and almost impossible to see anything. All three bands were incredible that night.

7. Allo Darlin' (Greg's garden)
I've seen Allo Darlin' play all sorts of venues this year, but this was probably the one I enjoyed the most. Playing in the garden at a friend's birthday party, the band came alive in a different way than normal. I love how these kind of small shows makes bands relax and just have fun.

6. Half Japanese (31st May 2011, The Scala)
I had seen Half Japanese play an amazing show in Barcelona just a couple of days earlier, but this was even better. Everything was spot on. They played all the the songs I wanted to hear and Jad made full use of his amazing bendy guitar.

And with support from Let's Wrestle and The Lovely Eggs of course this was an awesome evening!

5. Times New Viking, Veronica Falls (3rd May 2011, XOYO)
This was a great night. I hadn't seen Veronica Falls for a long time and was really excited about hearing some new stuff. They certainly didn't disappoint and I rememeber being blown away by how great they were live. Times New Viking are always awesome and this show was no different. To finish off a great set they tried to play Fuck Her Tears (one of my favorite tracks on the new record) twice, before giving up. The guitar strings just couldn't handle it and snapped during the intro both times. Great end to an awesome show.

4. Humousexual (25th February 2011, Andrew's living room in Notting Hill)
Now this is what I'm talking about! It doesn't get much better than a proper bedroom show. Humousexual in a small bedroom, playing to just a handful of people. This was very special indeed.

3. Japanther (14th February 2011, Tufnell Park Dome)

I've seen Japanther five or six times and it's never been less than amazing. This show in North London was one of the best. The atmosphere was just unbelievable. Not many bands can get a London crowd going like these guys can.

2. Math The Band x 3 (Guildford/Harlow/Tunbridge Wells, October 2011)

I'd been wanting to see Math The Band for a looooong time and I never expected to have to thank Wheatus for finally making it happen. Kevin and Justine were invited to join the more-than-just-a-little-older-than-teenage dirtbags on an insane UK tour that lasted something ridiculous like five weeks.

I skipped the London show and instead decided to visit some nearby towns and venues I'd never been to. It was weird and great on so many different levels. Great to see one of my favorite bands play to a packed venue...weird that it was happening in Harlow, Guildford and Tunbridge Wells....and even weirder that they were supporting Wheatus, a band that played my University graduation ball ten years ago!

Anyway, every single show was great and the only thing I regret now is not going to more of them.

Finally...

1. Weezer (6th July 2011, Brixton Academy)
I know Weezer doesn't really need the publicity and in general I tend to prefer smaller gigs, so this might come as a surprise. But, the thing is...Weezer at Brixton Academy was just unbelievably AMAZING!

Just look at the setlist! (from http://lullabyforwayne.blogspot.com)

Reading that makes me want to go to that show again and again and again and again...you get the point. And Male Bonding were supporting! Best gig of 2011. FACT!

That's it. My ten gigs of 2011. Many awesome shows have been left out. Other incredible gigs that spring to mind are Proper Ornaments at Power Lunches, Pulp in Hyde Park, Enfant Bastard in Edinburgh, Cloud Nothings at CAMP Basement, Omi Palone at Duke Of Uke, Best Friends Forever and The Middle Ones at the Old Blue Last, Anguish Sandwich at Indietracks, Spaghetti Tree weekend in Peckham (with Japanther, Please, John Maus etc) and the awesomeness that was Primavera Sound in Barcelona.

Bring on 2012! I noticed on Songkick that my teenage heroes Guttermouth are playing in London in March. I might have to go, just for old times' sake. One of the first big concerts I ever went to was to see them support The Offspring in Gothenburg in 1994. Shit, I feel old.

Videos of the day (Nana Grizol - Galaxies/Blackbox)

2011-12-06T09:55:00.001Z

I'm not quite sure why I suddenly felt the urge to stick Nana Grizol back onto my ipod. Maybe it's because I've been listening alot to Defiance , Ohio (of which singer Theo Hilton is also a member) or maybe it's because winter has finally hit London and I just needed some warming music. It is BLOODY FREEZING outside. Or maybe it's just because there's been a Nana Grizol shaped hole on my ipod that I've just been ignoring. Whatever the reason...I just love this band, I really really do.

Two beautiful songs, with accompanying videos made by band member Laura Carter (also of Neutral Milk Hotel).

Starting with Galaxies

And then Blackbox

Both songs are just perfect.

Aww...memories coming back of seeing them last summer in Brooklyn. Such a perfect evening.

Have a nice day and wrap up warm.

I watch movies so you don't have to #3 - Pets, 1974 (warning: spoilers!)

2011-12-05T16:55:00.001Z

So, this is one film I'd been wanting to see for quite some time and it was definitely an odd one. It's a sleazy piece of 70's exploitation weirdness of the best kind. The poster makes it look a lot worse than it actually is. Sure, it might be a bit dodgy at times and certainly wouldn't get made these days, but that's why 70's indie cinema is so fascinating. There were no rules and very few subject matters were taboo.

Pets was directed by a Raphael Nussbaum, but it doesn't seem to have done him any greater favours in the world of film. His imdb filmography as director post-Pets (or Submission as it was also called) includes things like When Sex Was A Knightly Affair and W.A.R. Women Against Rape,so I suppose it's no great surprise that I haven't heard of the man. Anyway, one good film is more than most directors manage, so the man deserves some credit.

Ok...Pets

It all kicks off with our lead girl Bonnie having an argument with her violent brother. There's not really any explanation of what the hell is going on between them, but he's not a particularly pleasant chap, that's for sure. But...our girl Bonnie outsmarts him and manages to get away. She does so by turning him over to a bunch of local gangsters. Aww...you just can't beat that sisterly love.

Bonnie runs off into the night and we never see or hear from her brother again.

She has to spend the night at the beach, but lucky for her it looks like the climate is pretty good for that kind of thing.

In the morning she meets Pat, another drifter of sorts. They get off to a bad start, but soon become the bestest of buddies. They do a bit of flirting with a random jogger and are soon offered a ride in his fancy car.

What he thought was going to be the best day ever, soon turns out to be his worst. The girls tie him up and force him to tell them his address, where he keeps his money etc. Pat's got a gun and she's not afraid to use it!

Neither is Bonnie! She's put in charge of the "hostage" as Pat drives over to his house to get the money. Bonnie reveals that the gun is actually a water pistol, but the hostage can't really do much about that now anyway. He's tied up pretty damn good.

What happens next is a bit weird. Pat does return, but after a bit of arguing about this and that she soon changes her mind and leaves Bonnie alone with the man. Bonnie doesn't seem to mind though. She decides to have her wicked ways with the tied up man...

...before running away...

But it's her lucky day and she doesn't have to run far! She is caught stealing an apple, but is saved by Geraldine Mills, an artist living in a nearby mansion. Geraldine asks Bonnie to move in and become her model. Bonnie happily accepts.

Geraldine starts to paint alot of Bonnie in the nude and soon enough her work is getting some attention in th elocal gallery. Creepy gallery owner Victor Stackman takes an interest in Geraldines paintings and buys this one...to hang above his bed. Yes, he is developing quite a liking of young Bonnie.

Oh there's a lot of stuff going on. It soon becomes clear that Geraldine has "a thing" for Bonnie and at first Bonnie is happy to play along. But what she really wants is a man and this makes Geraldine boil over with jealousy. One night they catch a burglar trying to break in to steal some food. Geraldine tries to call the police, but Bonnie innocently pretends that the man got away. But, oh no...she secretly hides him in her room and seduces him.

Eventually Geraldine finds out and she's not impressed...so she shoots the poor guy. All he wanted was some food, damn it.

Bonnie is a bit freaked out and doesn't really have any other option than to run away again. She's getting good at that!

I shouldn't really give too much away here. Bonnie hides over at creepy Victor's house and then the shit really goes down.

Geraldine comes over...and we learn a lot of unpleasant things about Victor...mainly about his attitude towards women.

Yup...he's got his own zoo...and he's not just keeping animals in there.

How is it all gonna end? Well, I'm not telling and you just have to find out for yourself...if you can track down a copy.

Pets is a well-crafted piece of 70's sleaze. It's very nicely photographed and the acting is pretty good. And it certainly keeps you guessing until the end. Guessing as in "where the hell is this going and what's that poster all about?" anyway. And yes, the poster is slightly misleading. The image is not from the film and is obviously created in order to exploit what is a very minor part of the film's plot. But, who cares? They used to do that shit all the time. There are a lot of holes in the plot and characters come and go without ever being heard from again. But it doesn't matter. Watching these kind of films is not really meant to be an intellectual exercise. What matters is that it's very entertaining and managed to keep my attention for 100 minutes. So, I'm just going to have to recommend it. Watch Pets. It's ace. And weird.

Humousexual and Anguish Sandwich (live at Power Lunches, 17th November 2011)

2011-11-18T08:38:00.001Z

Power Lunches is a nice little place on Kingsland Road, near Haggerston overground. It kinda reminds me of Cake Shop in New York, with a lovely cafe upstairs and a somewhat dingy (but nice) venue downstairs.

Last night, Humousexual were playing a London gig, something which doesn't happen very often. Last time I saw them was back in February when they played a bedroom in Notting Hill. Victor and Boitel were in great form, playing the hits, as well as some new songs. They have new CD out that you may or may not be able to order from Everard Records...and if you can then you should. I haven't had the chance to listen yet, but of course it's gonna be awesome.

A short youtube clip of Get On Yr Bike...

Later on, it was time for Anguish Sandwich. They played The Reading Festival this summer, as proven here by the official Reading Festival t-shirt.

Somewhere right between Henry Rollins and Descendents, which is not bad place to be on a t-shirt.

Anyway, they were awesome as usual and even treated us to some new songs.

They've been threatening to take their current EP off bandcamp, so hurry over and get while you still can.

Anguish Sandwich on bandcamp

A great evening with two great bands....and now it's Friday. It just gets better and better. Have a good weekend!

Video of the day (Twisted Sister - Be Chrool to Your Scuel)

2011-11-15T16:03:00.001Z

Alice Cooper was the guest host on Never Mind The Buzzcocks last night. It made me think of this classic video from my childhood heroes Twisted Sister.

Zombie-tastic!!!!

You can't really post just one Twisted Sister video...you just have to post some other classics. So, here goes...

We're Not Gonna Take It

and I Wanna Rock

That'll have to do for today. I do feel a bit bad leaving out classic videos like I am I'm Me and Leader Of The Pack, but youtube is your friend. Search and you shall find.

Last night...Allo Darlin' live at The Scala, 3rd November 2011

2011-11-04T11:45:00.000Z

Wowzers, that was a great night...but, ouch my head hurts. Happy Birthday, Fortuna POP!

First song of the encore, Tallulah. The mic on my camera can only really handle quieter songs.

And some photos, from preparation to aftermath...

Allo Darlin' in the studio

2011-11-03T10:19:00.000Z

Tonight is the third and final night of Fortuna POP! birthday gigs at The Scala and what a line-up it is! Allo Darlin', Darren Hayman, Tender Trap and The Ladybug Transistor! Yikes! You should most definitely come along. It'll be a very special evening.

At the weekend I visited Allo Darlin' in the studio, where they were recording the final bits and pieces of their next album, which is out at some point in early-ish 2012. I'm probably not allowed to say too much about the record, but it sounds pretty damn splendiferous. And that's just the rough mixes!

Anyway, I took some photos of the gang.

Moustache of Insanity goes to Vienna

2011-10-31T11:18:00.000Z

I've been neglecting this blog for the last month or so. Reason? Well, to be honest, I just haven't felt like writing about anything. But, this morning I thought it was time to get back into it.

First, some tour stories. The band I'm in, Moustache of Insanity, went to Vienna last weekend to play a couple of shows.

We left London horribly early on Thursday morning, meaning we arrived in Vienna feeling like shit. We got to our hostel, had a nap, drank some beer, practised some songs and wrote a set list. I also realised that my keyboard was not doing that well after August's blood-soaked album launch party. Fake blood and keyboards just don't go that well together.

In the end it didn't really matter. My keyboard was probably the least of our problems that evening, the biggest one being a drunken audience member. I can't remember her name, but she decided it would be hilarious to keep grabbing the mic, dancing on the stage and just being weird. I suppose it was pretty funny, to a certain extent anyway. In the end it was just annoying. She seemed to prefer our faster songs. Or at least I assume she did. During the slower ones she kept shouting "This is conventional bullshit". Anyway, I guess she did manage to divert attention from our set and obvious lack of practise.

We made it through the set, feeling reasonably satisfied. It wasn't great, but far from the worst show we've done. And people seemed to like it. Even drunk girl, who assured us that if she hadn't liked it she would have left the gig early.

In the end it was a great night. We met loads of lovely people and drank loads of Austrian beer. We even sold some records. Success!

On Friday we went exploring. Highlight of the sightseeing was a shop called Elektro Popp, run by a man called Konrad Popp. How awesome is that?

We also saw a bunch of awesome graffiti and a levitating man.

The levitating man was slightly more impressive before we figured his trick out. Well, at least we assumed we knew what was going on.

On Friday evening we played in our friend Costa's living room. This was an awesome show, much more relaxed. It probably helped that there was no weird girl shouting abuse at us during songs.

Jad Fair Drew Me A Duck

And Bill got to play an axe! A real axe. AXE!

Another day, another hangover…and more sightseeing. On Saturday, we saw a flak tower, bought some records and Bill wore a rather colourful cardigan.

That's about it. Sunday was spent recovering and wandering around Vienna…again. It's a cool place. We had loads of fun and hopefully we'll be back.

The night Math The Band brought the awesome to Tunbridge Wells

2011-10-13T09:48:00.001+01:00

Third Math The Band picture post in a row. Sorry, but I just haven't really done much else worth writing about recently. Last night, the Wheatus tour party headed to Tunbridge Wells in Kent and it was another packed house. I imagine 95% of the people there would have had no idea of what to expect from MTB, so watching people's reactions as the first song kicks in is rather amusing. The faces in the crowd show a mixture of 'what the fuck is this', 'ouch, this is loud', 'what is happening' and 'wow, AWESOME!'. Personally, I stick to to 'wow, AWESOME!!', although it is also rather loud.

This was the last show I''l be able to go to. I've done three in the last three weeks or so. It's been kind of nice escaping London just to go see a gig, something I haven't really done since my friend's band played in Kingston three years ago.

Anyway, some photos...Kevin is hitting some seriously impressive air in the first one.

Math The Band live at The Square, Harlow (28th September 2011)

2011-09-29T09:54:00.000+01:00

Last night I went to Harlow to see Math The Band again. I just figure I have to take these opportunities to see them while they're in the UK. Who knows if and when they'll be able to come back.

I'm glad I went, as it was another great show. Kevin snapped string after string on his guitar and ended up playing the last song with just one left. Guitar strings are overrated anyway, right?

Math The Band (live at Boileroom in Guildford, 23rd September 2011)

2011-09-24T11:29:00.001+01:00

I'd been wanting to see Math The Band for aaaaaaaaaaaaaages and last night I finally got the chance. In They're currently over here, supporting Wheatus on their humongous UK tour.

Was it worth the wait? Hell yeah! Sooooooo much energy and sooooooooo much fun! Definitely one the best shows of the year so far!

Vostok 5 gig (Hexicon, Darren Hayman, Tigercats at The Wilmington Arms)

2011-09-22T09:56:00.004+01:00

Last night all the artists behind the Vostok 5 art project performed with their respective bands at the Wilmington Arms. It was a great night, awesome music, packed with people and a lovely atmosphere. Below are a few photos of Hexicon, Darren Hayman and Tigercats (Fever Dream and Robert Rotifer also played).

too many options...

2011-09-21T08:33:00.003+01:00

So, tonight is the Vostok 5 gig at The Wilmington Arms. Darren Hayman, Robert Rotifer, Hexicon, Fever Dream and Tigercats will all be playing, so it should be alot of fun and MEGA BUSY. I'm pretty sure the majority of people I know in London will be there.

But...unfortunately there is a but...I do have tickets to the Teeth show at The Lexington. With PENS supporting! I don't think they have played since I went to their break-up show at The Macbeth aaaaaaaaaaaages ago.

Decisions, decisions...

Anguish Sandwich (live at The Wilmington Arms, 16th September 2011)

2011-09-19T09:14:00.004+01:00

Anguish Sandwich are great.

Listen to their EP and buy it. It's great.

No More Cows (Demos) by Anguish Sandwich

They played at the Wilmington Arms on Friday. They were great.

That's about it.

Omi Palone and The Proper Ornaments (live at Power Lunches, 9th September 2011)

2011-09-19T08:57:00.005+01:00

I meant to put these photos up last week, but it just didn't happen. Better late than never, eh? So, on the Friday before last (making it 9th September) I went to the Omi Palone cassette launch at Power Lunches in Stoke Newington. It was a great night, ruined somewhat by the fact that I drank way too much. Pressed in only 100 copies, I'd be very surprised if there many (if any) copies of the cassette left, so you better hurry up if you want one. As far as I can tell it's still available on the Omi Palone website. It's one of the better releases I've heard this year.

First Cassette by Omi Palone

The place was mega packed, so I didn't actually see Omi Palone. I heard them, though, they sounded great and I suppose that's the important thing.

Headlining were The Proper Ornaments, one of my favorite London bands at the moment. This time I managed to get a better position.

The Proper Ornaments are great. Have a listen.

Recalling by The Proper Ornaments

An awesome night, with two great bands.

Video of the day (Säkert! - Can I)

2011-09-09T08:19:00.003+01:00

So...Hello Saferide used to do the English songs and Säkert! used to do a similar-but-a-bit-darker thing in Swedish. But now, after getting inundated with emails and requests for translations, Annika Norlin gives us Säkert! på engelska (simply, Säkert in English). This is most excellent news if you don't speak Swedish.

The official website comes with a sweet warning - If you're Swedish and are reading - don't do it! You should be listening to the Swedish record.

And it's not like I would be missing out. I will have heard all these songs before. You see, all the songs on På Engelska are straight translations of songs from the two Säkert records, the self-titled one and its follow-up Facit.

But as much as I would like to listen to reasson, I just can't do it. I want to hear these versions. I'll just treat them like new songs. Of course it's not going to be the same. But, just like Bergman Rock is never going to be like Bob Hund and Kent in English is never going to be like the real Kent, it doesn't stop me from enjoying the music. And the song below is beautiful, wheteher you hear it in Swedish or in English.

Video of the day (Let's Whisper - All Happy Endings)

2011-09-08T09:59:00.003+01:00

Aww...a new Let's Whisper video. And it's just as lovely as the song.

The band are coming to the UK soon. For us Londoners they will be playing with Standard Fare at Zigfrid von Underbelly on Sunday 2nd October. It's a lovely venue and should be a great evening. See you there!

Video of the day (Jeffrey Lewis - Mosquito Mass Murderist)

2011-09-06T13:45:00.001+01:00

The new Jeffrey Lewis video for his mosquito rap is now finished...

Showdown In Little Tokyo

2011-09-06T08:52:00.005+01:00

Showdown In Little Tokyo (1991)
Directed by Mark L. Lester
Starring Dolph Lundgren, Brandon Lee and Tia Carrere

"That's perfect... I'm partnered with a homicidal maniac on a personal vendetta of family vengeance"

I know one of the worst clichés when writing about old movies is to say "they don't make them like this anymore", but in the case of Showdown In Little Tokyo, they seriously don't make them like this anymore. This movie, for lack of a better description, kicks fucking ass.

Dolph Lundgren plays Chris Kenner, a giant of a man, who has grown up with an intense respect for and interest in samourai tradition (as a result of his parents getting murdered by a Japanese gangster when he was a kid).

Now a grown man, he's a Los Angeles police officer with some rather unorthodox working methods and only one thing on his mind: track down and destroy Yoshida, the evil snuff-movie making, drug dealing Yakuza overlord who killed his parents.

This guys is seriously EVIL!

By Dolph's side is the equally kick-ass, if not quite as awe-inspiring, Brandon Lee as Johnny Murata.

Together they rack up a seriously impressive body count, in what is another underrated classic from director Mark L. Lester.

Lundgren is obviously the star, but Lee gets most of the one-liners and there are a lot of classics here.

From the amazing…

"Listen you Zen warrior, fucking samurai asshole! I wanna know what's up!"

"You have the right to an Attorney. You have the right to be dead!"

And

"Listen, will you do this right? Clean? Like a cop in the 20th century, not some samurai warrior? We're gonna nail this guy. And when we get done... we're gonna go eat fish off those naked chicks!"

…to some rather bizarre dialogue exchanges

Murata: Kenner, just in case we get killed, I wanted to tell you, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen on a man.
Kenner: Thanks. I don't know what to say.
Murata: How about "Don't get killed"?
Kenner: Don't get killed.
Murata: You too.

This is just so much fun, exactly the way action movies are supposed to be, but rarely are these days. Lundgren and Lee are a seriously great combo – Mel Gibson and Danny Glover have nothing on these guys. And then there's Tia Carrere, who is gorgeous as ever and falls for Dolph after he saves her from committing ritual suicide.

Three thumbs up! 12 out of 10! Totally fucking awesome!

For some reason (which I'm sure is not completely legal), the entire movie is available for streaming on youtube. I strongly suggest you check it out.

Videos of the day (The Replacements on SNL)

2011-09-05T20:07:00.003+01:00

Today I found out that COLOR ME OBSESSED, a new documentary about The Replacements will be showing at the Raindance Film Festival in London in just a few weeks. This is VERY EXCITING! To celebrate I have two classic (and rarely seen) videos of the band playing on Saturday Night Live in 1986, a performance that would see them banned from the show. I'm not quite sure why, but it's an incredible performance. The songs played are Bastards Of Young and Kiss Me On The Bus.

videos via redwineonasunday.blogspot.com

Vostok 5 exhibition - three more days

2011-09-05T09:31:00.004+01:00

If you haven't been to the Vostok 5 exhibition yet, you now only have three days left. Wednesday is the last day and they're open until 8pm every day until then. Address is The Outside World Gallery, 44 Redchurch Street, E2 7DP.

On Saturday they put on a little gig in the gallery, with artists/musicians Duncan Barrett, Robert Rotifer and Darren Hayman playing a few space-related songs each before White Tiger took over, playing "spacey-sounding" sounds using a variety of electronic gadgets.

Duncan Barrett

Robert Rotifer

Darren Hayman

White Tiger

Vostok 5 blog

Video of the day (Veronica Falls - Bad Feeling)

2011-09-02T13:48:00.003+01:00

I know I posted a stream of this song just last week, but now there's a video as well! And it's lovely!

One of my favorite songs of 2011 so far.

Have an awesome weekend!

Video of the day (Sprites - George Romero)

2011-08-31T10:45:00.001+01:00

Not an "official video", but a great song.

Film you need to watch - CLASS OF 1999

2011-08-31T09:59:00.006+01:00

"Now be careful! These things are like a bad, fucked up, George Jetson nightmare!"

Some films are just immune to criticism and nothing you can say will take away from the fact that it's just a really fun and awesome film. Class of 1999 is one of those rare films. You can complain as much as you want about the dodgy acting or absolutely ridiculous plot, but it just doesn't matter. It has Pam Grier playing a robot teacher with flame throwers for arms, so screw you! Any criticism is immediately rendered invalid due to this fact. Class of 1999 is fucking awesome! It also one of the most insanely ridiculous things I've seen in a long, long time. But, it is mainly awesome and I was wearing a giant 'what-the-fuck-is-happening?' grin from start to finish.

Made in 1990 and set in 1999, a future where American schools are suffering from serious "discipline issues". Most inner-city high schools have been taken over by gangs and police refuse to enter these so-called 'fire-free zones'. A new program run by Dr. Bob Forrest aims at fixing this discipline problem by taking cyborgs, originally intended for military combat, and using them as teachers. Our hero and former troublemaker Cody Culp is released from prison and arrives back at school and finds that things are worse than ever between his old gang The Blackhearts and their enemies the Razor Heads.

However, Cody has no desire to return to jail and is determined to stay out of trouble, something which proves rather difficult for a number of reasons. He develops an interest in the new headmaster's daughter, something which is never good for the 'street cred' of a former gang banger. He also is the first one to suspect something is not what it seems with these new teachers, who are taking a rather heavy-handed approach to teaching. Can he convince his former enemies to join forces in time? Cue shitloads of guns, blood, amazing outfits, explosions, weird drugs and old-school computer graphics and stop-motion animation.

Class of 1999 is a hell of a ride and I strongly suggest you get on it. Actually, you should start by watching Director Mark Lester's previous effort Class Of 1984, which is every bit as awesome, but actually maybe a "better" film.

5 out of 5

Free and legal music - Cowabunga Babes

2011-08-30T09:38:00.007+01:00

Cowabunga Babes are alot of fun, but I guess with a name like that you'd be kind of disappointed if they weren't.

Cowabunga Babes - Beach Babe - Live at Origami Vinyl

They're from Austin, Texas and the sunny climate has definitely rubbed off on their sound. This is upbeat, bouncy garage pop at its most fun and has been brightening up the dull London "summer" for me over the past few months.

Volar Records are releasing their debut LP Going Nowhere on coloured vinyl and you can order it HERE.

Until then you can also download an older seven-inch for free with the band's approval (well, I assume so anyway, since the link is taken from the band's own myspace)

Download the Cowabunga Babes Peluso 7" here (mediafire)

Anguish Sandwich at Reading Festival

2011-08-29T18:22:00.003+01:00

Amazing...Anguish Sandwich playing the BBC Introducing stage at Reading Festival at the weekend.

They are playing at The Wilmington Arms on 16th September. You should come.

It's the weekend...

2011-08-26T08:50:00.000+01:00

Listen to Fugazi!

Have a good one!

Video of the day (Cowabunga Babes - Hot Babez)

2011-08-24T10:34:00.002+01:00

Sad realisation of the day: I can't even remember the last time I was in a bouncy castle :(

Exciting new things! Veronica Falls and Christmas Island

2011-08-23T09:32:00.004+01:00

How good are the preview songs from the upcoming Veronica Falls debut album? Fucking awesome, I'd say! I really love this song:

Veronica Falls - Bad Feeling by Slumberland Records

The album is out in October on Bella Union in the UK and Slumberland in The US.

There's also a new Christmas Island release on the horizon, a limited edition 12-inch on Volar Records. If this preview track is anything to go by, it's also going to be fucking awesome. They're taking pre-orders now.

CHRISTMAS ISLAND--Poisoner by Volar Records

Indietracks 2011

2011-08-04T13:06:00.017+01:00

Another year, another Indietracks. This year's festival was probably my favourite one so far. Not only did I get to play in a packed church, I also saw some of my favourite bands play amazing sets.

On Friday we arrived just in time for Suburban Kids With Biblical Names.

It was the first time I'd seen them play with a full band and they were amazing. I couldn't have hoped for a better start to the festival. We all sang along, danced and drank ourselves silly. Then we kept dancing to a Sacred To Dance DJ set in the shed.

It was a great start to the weekend.

On Saturday it was time to panic a little about our set. I had been worrying about being the first band on for quite some time. I shouldn't have. The church was packed by the time we soundchecked and people were standing outside peeking through the windows. It was an amazing feeling.

The show went well…we didn't even mess up that much. Well, The Monkey and My Princess kind of imploded in a heap of "Aaah I can't hear the drums and have no idea where in the song we are". But, that's all part of the Moustache experience.

After the show, it was time to plug Album Of Death to the merch-hungry crowd. It all went surprisingly well. In between stints at the merch tent I managed to catch a bit of Dignan Porch in the church and they were absolutely ace.

I really need to check them out further.

In the evening, it was finally time to relax and just enjoy the festival. Then the generator at the main stage blew up. This could have been a disaster, but instead it meant The Hidden Cameras could perform a truly special totally unplugged mini-set.

I've never seen such a large crowd stay so quiet in order to hear the music. AMAZING!

The band played a "normal" set later on in the shed, but the earlier one is the one I'll always remember.

Then...

DANCING!

DANCING!!

DANCING!!!

DANCING!!!

DANCING!!!

The rest of the night was spent with the lovely Suburban Kids With Biblical Names, first freestyle rapping to a very confused taxi driver about his "awesome style", then drinking beer and eating Monster Munch until the wee hours. A lovely end to a great day.

Sunday came and surprisingly I didn't even feel sick. Travelodge is clearly the way to go. Anguish Sandwich in the church were absolutely brilliant.

They are one of my favorite UK bands at the moment and you should definitely grab their name-your-price download EP on bandcamp. Get it HERE.

Whilst doing another stint in the merch tent I caught MJ Hibbett doing a short set in the merch tent to a completely captivated audience.

It's such a lovely place to just walk around, so many friends and happy faces everywhere. You'll never know who you'll bump into...

An Allo darlin' smiling...

...a Monster Bobby singing...

...a Ballboy sitting...

...or a naughty Tigercat smoking...

Happy Days!

Also on the Sunday afternoon, some of the Fika artists played a few songs each at the Fika Tea Party.

Horowitz

Red Shoe Diaries

Moustache of Insanity

Lisa Bouvier

Evening time and a triple-bill of awesome headliners. Jeffrey Lewis was absolutely brilliant in the shed.

Few people can turn that stage into something utterly awesome, but he managed. Herman Dune joined the band on stage for a few songs, which only added to the magic.

The second Jeff and Co finished it was time to run to the main stage for Withered Hand.

The band looked a bit nervous at first, but in the end it only added to the intensity of the performance.

Time for a little break until Herman Dune hit the main stage. It's quite a responsibility, closing the festival and personally I think they chose a rather strange way to do it.

Instead of playing a set of hits mixed with new stuff it was pretty much exclusively new material. Two songs from the previous two albums and a Sonic Youth cover. That was it. No 'Not On Top', no 'I Wish I Could See You Soon'. In the end the cover of 'Dirty Boots' was the highlight of the set, with Jeffrey Lewis' band returning the favour from earlier and joining the band on stage.

We had a final couple of beers, a final dance in the shed, before saying our goodbyes and making the emotional final train journey back.

A massive thank you to Team Indietracks and all the volunteers for making it happen and reach new levels of awesomeness year after year!

We'll be back in 2012. I'm already counting the days. Assuming that it starts on 27th July there are only 358 days to go! yay!

INDIETRACKS!!!

2011-07-29T09:58:00.003+01:00

It's finally time for Indietracks! Three days and nights of pop music, ale and trains!

There are so many great bands playing...some of the ones I'm looking forward to especially are...

ANGUISH SANDWICH!

SUBURBAN KIDS WITH BIBLICAL NAMES!

Hmmm....who else...Withered Hand, Ace Bushy Striptease, Jeffrey Lewis, Herman Dune, Berlin Brides...it just goes on...

It's gonna be awesome...see you next week!

Free download single and video from Moustache of Insanity

2011-07-25T09:35:00.003+01:00

Here's a taster from the upcoming Moustache of Insanity album, which is released on 22nd August. Lynn Lowry is one of the songs on the album and the b-side, The Monkey and My Princess, is a brand-new bedroom recording.

Available as a free download 2-track single from Bandcamp HERE, Last.FM HERE and Soundcloud HERE.

And there's a video. We shot this using my old Gameboy camera.

Moustache of Insanity are on tour at the moment. You should come along to one of our shows!

25/07/11
The Old Blue Last (with Best Friends Forever & The Middle Ones)

26/07/11
The Castle, Manchester (with Very Truly Yours and Math & Physics Club)

27/07/11
Buffalo Lounge, Cardiff

28/07/11
Horse & Groom, Brighton

29/07/11-31/07/2011
Indietracks Festival, Derbyshire

19/08/11
The Red House, Sheffield

20/08/11
ALBUM LAUNCH PARTY at Librarians Wanted, London

21/08/11
Little Pad, London (In-store at 3pm)

More information on our website

Video of the day (Weezer - El Scorcho)

2011-07-06T08:59:00.002+01:00

This evening I'm going to see Weezer!

Weezer! That is all for now.

Allo Darlin' live (birthday party in Dalston, East London)

2011-07-04T09:19:00.006+01:00

Saturday marked the return of Greggles! Allo Darlin' played at his birthday party and in the absence of Bill he jumped in on bass duties. It was great seeing him play with the band again. He's always so full of energy and even though it had been almost a year and a half since his last show with the band, he still seemed to know all the songs. Great show, fun times.

I watch movies so you don't have to #2 - Student Bodies (1981) (warning: spoilers)

2011-07-01T08:29:00.016+01:00

Student Bodies (1981)
Directed by: Mickey Rose
Starring: Kristen Riter, The Stick (seriously that's his credited name)

Long before Kevin Williamson, Wes Craven and the bloody Wayans brothers thought it was clever to take the piss out of the slasher film, Mickey Rose made Student Bodies. Pre-dating Scream by 15 years and Scary Movie by 19 years, it's hard to imagine that neither of the people involved in those films had seen it.

Sure, with a heavy emphasis on comedy it is more along the lines of Scary Movie, but much of what people thought was so "clever" about Scream is present here.

We know where it's going from the start. The title setting the date tells us 'Halloween', followed by 'Friday the 13th' followed by 'Jamie Lee Curtis' birthday'.

Like in Scream we start off with a babysitter receiving a scary phonecall.

She goes out in the garden to check what's happening. Nothing there...back inside.

OH NO...she forgot to lock the door!!

Anyway...the baby sitter's boyfriend comes over, they go to the bedroom and voila, first confirmed death. It's a running theme. Sex=immediate death for the rest of the film.

Next day at the funeral, the killer strikes again.

OK, these constant titles pointing out the obvious are amusing at first, but the novelty soon wears off.

Time to introduce Toby, our hero and "final girl" if you like.

She discovers the body at the funeral and immediately becomes a suspect! But who's the real killer? It's the talk of the schoolyard:

Student A: Who could've done these murders?
Student B: I don't know. Could've been anybody.
Student A: Well, it can't be anybody. It's gotta be somebody.
Student B: Of course it's somebody, but that somebody could be anybody.
Student A: Well, look. We didn't do it, right?
Student B: Right.
Student A: So, you can't say it could be anybody. We're anybody.
Student B: True. But we're also somebody.

Back to Toby. She's great. And rather cute. And she goes on a mission to clear her name and find the killer.

We get the compulsory locker room POV shots.

Cheerleaders...

And even a school dance!

Toby goes looking for clues...in a parade float...

...but the killer strikes again.

So she's back in the principal's office...

Eventually, she finds some clues...

But, who's the killer? The body count is going up at an alarming rate.

Is it the crazy teacher obsessed with making horse head bookends?

Is it Malvert, the creepy janitor?

Whoever it is...all hell breaks loose...

Seriously, the final ten minutes is completely bonkers.

So, is Student Bodies any good? Well, not really. It's alright as curiosity. It does overdo the comedy. The killer's internal monologue gets annoying very quickly, the constant post-modern self-referencing wears dry. There is zero gore and zero nudity. In order to gain an R Rating, the film is interupted halfway through with a random man shouting "FUCK YOU" to the MPAA.

It's mainly interesting in the way it's telling the audience about the inherent silliness of the slasher film, at a time when the genre itself was very much in its infancy. Sure, it had been seven years since Black Christmas, but things didn't really kickoff until Halloween and Friday the 13th in 1978 and 1980 respectively.

And then there's the lovely Toby of course, played by Kristen Riter. According to imdb this was the only movie she ever did.

Her only other credit is the classic music video for Centerfold by J. Geils Band.

That's all. Have a nice weekend.

Fever Dream live (The Macbeth, 29th June 2011)

2011-06-30T15:44:00.002+01:00

Fever Dream played at The Macbeth last night.

Loud. Yup. Awesome. Yup.

Listen on Bandcamp

Video of the day (Herman Dune - I Wish That I Could See You Soon)

2011-06-27T10:16:00.004+01:00

After the rather heavy film post earlier, I think we need something happy to brighten things up.

This is ace.

And the Green Guys version

I watch movies so you don't have to... (warning: spoilers and graphic images)

2011-06-27T08:35:00.018+01:00

Womens Prison Massacre (1983)
Directed by Bruno Mattei

Today I'll treat you to a film from one of the sleazier sub genres of exploitation cinema, the Women In Prison movie. There are a few things can be sure of in these films.

- There will be communal showers.
- The female prisoners will be desperate for sex
- Most (if not all) of the prison staff will be sadistic psychopaths, who will take any opportunity to humiliate, degrade and punish "misbehaving" prisoners.
- There will be an evil tough girl running the show and a "good" tough girl trying to take over the running of the show.

Womens Prison Massacere have all of these, but also adds some more original elements, making it one of the more interesting WIP movies I've seen.

So, what is it all about? Laura Gemser plays Emmanuelle, an undercover journalist who has been wrongly imprisoned after having drugs planted on her by some powerful politician type (it's a bit unclear what has actually happened and only briefly discussed). The film kicks off with a theatre performance, which is rudely interrupted by evil Albina throwing tomatoes at Emmanuelle, who is one of the actresses. Straight away we know our bad girl, good girl set-up.

The following day in the canteen, Albina heads over to where Laura and Irene (the other two actresses from the play) are sitting. The following conversation takes place.

Laura: Don't bother her.
Albina: That'll be the day. Take my advice and die!
Laura: I'd like to bite your nipples off and I'll do it!

Erm. Yes. Then old crazy eyes Albina throws a bit of a hissy fit and challenges Emmanuelle to some arm wrestling.

A bit later we learn that Laura and Irene have a bit of a thing for each other. They're getting a little frisky in the showers, which Albina doesn't approve of. She tells the guards, who respond by almost drowning the two prisoners. Emmanuelle thinks this treatment is a bit over the top, so decides to tell the warden. Stupid idea. She obviously hasn't seen any WIP movies. The warden is of course mega evil and Emmanuelle soon finds herself in the wash room with two evil prison guards, who force her to keep her head under water.

Evil guards!

The evil guards let Albina in and leave her and Emmanuelle to fight it out. Emmanuelle is pretty bad-ass though, so she pulls Albina's hair. Guess what? It's a wig!

That must be why Albina's so mean!

We then find out that Irene (or is it Laura? I get confused) has a blow-up doll called Harry, which she is very fond of.

Harry!

The guards are obviously determined to let Albina kick Emmanuelle's ass, so during the day's exercise in the courtyard the two are again left to fight it out.

Evil guards watching!

Despite being armed with a knife, Albina is yet again defeated by Emmanuelle who stabs her in the leg.

Ouch!

I was starting to get a bit bored here. The bad girl, good girl thing was getting a bit repetitive. But, lucky for me, a genius new plot element is introduced! You see, while this was going on, a group of four dangerous rapists/murderers are being transported to the prison to await their sentence. I'm not quite sure why they're sent to a women's prison, but there you go.

There's a bit of an attempt to escape and two policemen are shot, but luckily they can't get to Harrison, a totally awesome and badass cop.

Harrison, contemplating what to do after his colleagues are killed.

So, he manages to get them to the prison. There, the warden decides to put them in the wing where the most dangerous prisoners are kept. But, it's not as easy as that. They men overpower the female guards. Crazy Boy Henderson has been hiding a razorblade in his mouth! Oh no!

This is even too much for our good guy Harrison. He may be armed with a shotgun, but he's not gonna let that guard just die.

Unfortunately, he thinks about it a bit too long and Crazy Boy Henderson kills the guard.

Ok...sorry...it's getting a bit horrible, messy and dark here. There are lighter elements in the film. Like the giant walkie-talkies! Look!

What do you want?

We want loads of stuff or they'll all die. Give us money and a plane etc.

This is where the film gets a bit weird....or even weirder if you like. The four escaped maniacs find themselves in a prison populated by sex-starved female prisoners. They can't even walk past the cells without having their clothes torn off.

Crazy Boy Henderson gets a bit upset when he finds the blow-up doll and forces Irene and Laura to dance with it. Erm. Yes. Then he kills the doll! Well, he cuts it with his razor blade.

While all these sexy shenaningans are taking place, the police are trying to storm the prison. They send in a rubbish team with a giant video camera, who all manage to get killed pretty much straight away.

I guess I shouldn't give everything away in case any of you would like to actually watch the thing. It gets gorier and gorier, tho.

Razor blades are inserted where they shouldn't be..

Leading to some well deserved pain...

We even get some Russian roulette...eventually there has to be a loser.

Nice.

I'll leave it there, For a WIP movie, this is very well paced and when it gets going it never gets boring. The dubbing isn't too bad either. There are some subplots that are never properly explained, but it's only to be expected and we kinda get the idea anyway.

The film has been retitled many times. The current UK DVD version from Vipco is called Emmanuelle in Prison and can be bought from Amazon.

Video of the day (Masshysteri - Tvivel)

2011-06-18T14:16:00.002+01:00

Today's video is from a band I've been listening to alot recently, Sweden's Masshysteri. Angry, fast, but also melodic and bouncy; it's modern punkrock at its very best. Sadly, they split up late last year. But, as always, the music remains.

Masshysteri - Tvivel from vanskrot on Vimeo.

Video of the day (Buck 65 - Superstars Don't Love)

2011-06-17T08:56:00.004+01:00

I have another blog called Title Screen Of Death, where I do nothing apart from post screenshots of cult movie title screens. So, I was very pleasantly surprised when my friend alerted me to this video from Buck 65, which is made up of over 60 fictional movie title screens...awesome concept and brilliantly executed.

New Death Set video!!

2011-06-12T22:01:00.011+01:00

A new Death Set video just appeared on youtube. It's for the song Can You Seen Straight? from the last album Michel Poiccard. Great song, great video. I also noticed that they're back in London next month. 21st July at The Macbeth. You should really be there.

Video of the day (Hästpojken - Här har du ditt liv)

2011-06-12T12:45:00.004+01:00

It's rather miserable out there today, but here's a on old Hästpojken video to warm your soul.

Omi Palone and The Proper Ornaments (live at the Duke of Uke)

2011-06-11T18:49:00.005+01:00

Apparently everyone's favorite ukulele shop is being forced to move out. That sucks. So, last night the Duke Of Uke put on a show, which was a kind of part launch party for a new art zine and part fundraiser to try and save the place. It was busy busy and much beer was drunk. Omi Palone and The Proper Ornaments played. Random phone photos...

Omi Palone blog/website

The Proper Ornaments myspace

All gigs should be at the Duke. That would be awesome. Yes.

Video of the day (Moustache of Insanity - Dancing With Emma)

2011-06-09T15:28:00.002+01:00

We (Moustache of Insanity) are releasing our debut album in August and here's a little taster of what you can expect.

Moustache Of Insanity website

The Lovely Eggs, Let's Wrestle and Half Japanese live (Scala, 31st May 2011)

2011-06-01T08:46:00.004+01:00

After a week of live music I didn't really think I could handle any more for a while. I had decided to stay home despite the amazing triple-bill lined up by Upset The Rhythm at the Scala. But, but, but...that line-up! Seriously. How could I not go? So, of course we went.

The Lovely Eggs were great, rocking harder than I think I've ever seen them before. Maybe it was the influence of Jad Fair sitting on stage and watching.

Let's Wrestle were LOUD! They are always going to be great, but it really is a band I want to see in a dirty basement and not the Scala. They didn't seem to go down too well (someone even threw a beer at Wes) with the strangely passive crowd, but they soldiered on. Despite having just released a record in the last month, they managed to play a selection of even newer songs.

Finally, the legendary Half Japanese. I saw them at Primavera on Friday and they were one of the highlights of the festival. Last night was even better. An incredible set, they played many of the classics. Red Dress, Secret and Firecracker...they were all there. The absolute highlight though was the incredible performance of I'll Change My Style. Absolutely brilliant!

In the end I was so glad I went. I even slipped Jad a copy of the Fika cassette that has the song Jad Fair Drew Me A Duck on it. I wonder if he'll listen to it?