Thursday, 30 June 2011

Monday, 27 June 2011

Video of the day (Herman Dune - I Wish That I Could See You Soon)

After the rather heavy film post earlier, I think we need something happy to brighten things up.

This is ace.

And the Green Guys version

I watch movies so you don't have to... (warning: spoilers and graphic images)

Womens Prison Massacre (1983)
Directed by Bruno Mattei

Today I'll treat you to a film from one of the sleazier sub genres of exploitation cinema, the Women In Prison movie. There are a few things can be sure of in these films.

- There will be communal showers.
- The female prisoners will be desperate for sex
- Most (if not all) of the prison staff will be sadistic psychopaths, who will take any opportunity to humiliate, degrade and punish "misbehaving" prisoners.
- There will be an evil tough girl running the show and a "good" tough girl trying to take over the running of the show.

Womens Prison Massacere have all of these, but also adds some more original elements, making it one of the more interesting WIP movies I've seen.

So, what is it all about? Laura Gemser plays Emmanuelle, an undercover journalist who has been wrongly imprisoned after having drugs planted on her by some powerful politician type (it's a bit unclear what has actually happened and only briefly discussed). The film kicks off with a theatre performance, which is rudely interrupted by evil Albina throwing tomatoes at Emmanuelle, who is one of the actresses. Straight away we know our bad girl, good girl set-up.

The following day in the canteen, Albina heads over to where Laura and Irene (the other two actresses from the play) are sitting. The following conversation takes place.

Laura: Don't bother her.
Albina: That'll be the day. Take my advice and die!
Laura: I'd like to bite your nipples off and I'll do it!

Erm. Yes. Then old crazy eyes Albina throws a bit of a hissy fit and challenges Emmanuelle to some arm wrestling.

A bit later we learn that Laura and Irene have a bit of a thing for each other. They're getting a little frisky in the showers, which Albina doesn't approve of. She tells the guards, who respond by almost drowning the two prisoners. Emmanuelle thinks this treatment is a bit over the top, so decides to tell the warden. Stupid idea. She obviously hasn't seen any WIP movies. The warden is of course mega evil and Emmanuelle soon finds herself in the wash room with two evil prison guards, who force her to keep her head under water.

Evil guards!

The evil guards let Albina in and leave her and Emmanuelle to fight it out. Emmanuelle is pretty bad-ass though, so she pulls Albina's hair. Guess what? It's a wig!

That must be why Albina's so mean!

We then find out that Irene (or is it Laura? I get confused) has a blow-up doll called Harry, which she is very fond of.


The guards are obviously determined to let Albina kick Emmanuelle's ass, so during the day's exercise in the courtyard the two are again left to fight it out.

Evil guards watching!

Despite being armed with a knife, Albina is yet again defeated by Emmanuelle who stabs her in the leg.


I was starting to get a bit bored here. The bad girl, good girl thing was getting a bit repetitive. But, lucky for me, a genius new plot element is introduced! You see, while this was going on, a group of four dangerous rapists/murderers are being transported to the prison to await their sentence. I'm not quite sure why they're sent to a women's prison, but there you go.

There's a bit of an attempt to escape and two policemen are shot, but luckily they can't get to Harrison, a totally awesome and badass cop.

Harrison, contemplating what to do after his colleagues are killed.

So, he manages to get them to the prison. There, the warden decides to put them in the wing where the most dangerous prisoners are kept. But, it's not as easy as that. They men overpower the female guards. Crazy Boy Henderson has been hiding a razorblade in his mouth! Oh no!

This is even too much for our good guy Harrison. He may be armed with a shotgun, but he's not gonna let that guard just die.

Unfortunately, he thinks about it a bit too long and Crazy Boy Henderson kills the guard.'s getting a bit horrible, messy and dark here. There are lighter elements in the film. Like the giant walkie-talkies! Look!

What do you want?

We want loads of stuff or they'll all die. Give us money and a plane etc.

This is where the film gets a bit weird....or even weirder if you like. The four escaped maniacs find themselves in a prison populated by sex-starved female prisoners. They can't even walk past the cells without having their clothes torn off.

Crazy Boy Henderson gets a bit upset when he finds the blow-up doll and forces Irene and Laura to dance with it. Erm. Yes. Then he kills the doll! Well, he cuts it with his razor blade.

While all these sexy shenaningans are taking place, the police are trying to storm the prison. They send in a rubbish team with a giant video camera, who all manage to get killed pretty much straight away.

I guess I shouldn't give everything away in case any of you would like to actually watch the thing. It gets gorier and gorier, tho.

Razor blades are inserted where they shouldn't be..

Leading to some well deserved pain...

We even get some Russian roulette...eventually there has to be a loser.


I'll leave it there, For a WIP movie, this is very well paced and when it gets going it never gets boring. The dubbing isn't too bad either. There are some subplots that are never properly explained, but it's only to be expected and we kinda get the idea anyway.

The film has been retitled many times. The current UK DVD version from Vipco is called Emmanuelle in Prison and can be bought from Amazon.

Saturday, 18 June 2011

Video of the day (Masshysteri - Tvivel)

Today's video is from a band I've been listening to alot recently, Sweden's Masshysteri. Angry, fast, but also melodic and bouncy; it's modern punkrock at its very best. Sadly, they split up late last year. But, as always, the music remains.

Masshysteri - Tvivel from vanskrot on Vimeo.

Friday, 17 June 2011

Video of the day (Buck 65 - Superstars Don't Love)

I have another blog called Title Screen Of Death, where I do nothing apart from post screenshots of cult movie title screens. So, I was very pleasantly surprised when my friend alerted me to this video from Buck 65, which is made up of over 60 fictional movie title screens...awesome concept and brilliantly executed.

Sunday, 12 June 2011

New Death Set video!!

A new Death Set video just appeared on youtube. It's for the song Can You Seen Straight? from the last album Michel Poiccard. Great song, great video. I also noticed that they're back in London next month. 21st July at The Macbeth. You should really be there.

Video of the day (Hästpojken - Här har du ditt liv)

It's rather miserable out there today, but here's a on old Hästpojken video to warm your soul.

Saturday, 11 June 2011

Omi Palone and The Proper Ornaments (live at the Duke of Uke)

Apparently everyone's favorite ukulele shop is being forced to move out. That sucks. So, last night the Duke Of Uke put on a show, which was a kind of part launch party for a new art zine and part fundraiser to try and save the place. It was busy busy and much beer was drunk. Omi Palone and The Proper Ornaments played. Random phone photos...

Omi Palone blog/website

The Proper Ornaments myspace

All gigs should be at the Duke. That would be awesome. Yes.

Thursday, 9 June 2011

Video of the day (Moustache of Insanity - Dancing With Emma)

We (Moustache of Insanity) are releasing our debut album in August and here's a little taster of what you can expect.

Moustache Of Insanity website

Wednesday, 1 June 2011

The Lovely Eggs, Let's Wrestle and Half Japanese live (Scala, 31st May 2011)

After a week of live music I didn't really think I could handle any more for a while. I had decided to stay home despite the amazing triple-bill lined up by Upset The Rhythm at the Scala. But, but, but...that line-up! Seriously. How could I not go? So, of course we went.

The Lovely Eggs were great, rocking harder than I think I've ever seen them before. Maybe it was the influence of Jad Fair sitting on stage and watching.

Let's Wrestle were LOUD! They are always going to be great, but it really is a band I want to see in a dirty basement and not the Scala. They didn't seem to go down too well (someone even threw a beer at Wes) with the strangely passive crowd, but they soldiered on. Despite having just released a record in the last month, they managed to play a selection of even newer songs.

Finally, the legendary Half Japanese. I saw them at Primavera on Friday and they were one of the highlights of the festival. Last night was even better. An incredible set, they played many of the classics. Red Dress, Secret and Firecracker...they were all there. The absolute highlight though was the incredible performance of I'll Change My Style. Absolutely brilliant!

In the end I was so glad I went. I even slipped Jad a copy of the Fika cassette that has the song Jad Fair Drew Me A Duck on it. I wonder if he'll listen to it?