I watch movies so you don't have to #12 - Terminal Island (1973)

Terminal Island (1973)
Directed by: Stephanie Rothman
Starring: Don Marshall, Phyllis Davis, Ena Hartman and Tom Selleck

So, this one was interesting. An island "prison" film made by a female director. I'd never actually heard of Stephanie Rothman, but a quick glance at her imdb page told me she was the first female to be given a Directors Guild of America fellowship and the she credits Roger Corman as her only mentor. Not surprising then that her filmography is made up of titles like The Working Girls, The Student Nurses, It's a Bikini World and Blood Bath.

Anyway, I did really enjoy this one. Set in the near future, where the state of California have abolished the death penalty. Instead, convicted murderers (male and female) are sent to Terminal Island, a small island 40 miles off the coast, surrounded by electronic mines, where they are dumped and left to fend for themselves. No guards, no nothing...just an island of murderers trying to survive.

As usual, this post contains big spoilers and some images depicting violence and nudity.

I watch movies so you don't have to #11 - Sweet Sugar (1972)

Sweey Sugar (1972)
Directed by: Michel Levesque
Starring: Phyllis Davis, Ella Edwards and Timothy Brown

Another women-in-prison title ticked off my list and this was one of the better ones. Crazy doctors, shower scenes, voodoo, blood-thirsty kittens, explosions, a bit of hinted-at cannibalism...yup, Sweet Sugar contains something for everyone.

Director Levesque is obviously indebted to the films of Russ Meyers, and the influence can be seen everywhere...from leading lady Phyllis Davis (of Beyond The Valley of the Dolls fame) to the campy goofiness of the script. Although he seems to have given up on directing after Sweet Sugar Levesque continued making a living behind the scenes and later worked on several films with Russ Meyers, including classics like Supervixens and Benath the Valley of the Ultra-vixens.

So...a bit of a warning...this post contains some naked flesh....just so you know.

Let's go...

I watch movies so you don't have to #10 - Neon Maniacs (1986)

Neon Maniacs (1986)
Directed by: Joseph Mangine
Starring: Clyde Hayes, Leilani Sarelle, Donna Locke

Oh dear...where do I start with this one? A film I just wanted to watch because of the title. Oh yes, I am a sucker for stupid titles...and Neon Maniacs sounds like it could be fun, right? But, oh no...this is just weird...and not in a good way, just in a what-the-fuck-is-going-on-and-this-is-stupid kinda way. I'm not really sure who the audience is meant to be. It's too ridiculous and cheesy to be aimed at adult horror fans, but too violent (but not really) to be a "family horror".

Anyway, what is it all about? I guess I'll just get right down to it.

I watch movies so you don't have to #9 - The Naked Cage (1986) - contains spoilers and a bit of nudity

The Naked Cage (1986)
Directed by: Paul Nicholas
Starring: Shari Shattuck, Christina Whitaker

With a title like The Naked Cage comes very high expectations, but I must say I wasn't disappointed. This movie is awesome! One of my favourite Cannon Productions so far.

It has everything you'd expect from a Women-in-Prison movie. An evil warden and an equally evil guard. And a nice guard. The obligatory shower scenes. Loads of fights! And a RIOT!

I watch movies so you don't have to #8 - Getting Even aka Deadbeat aka Tomcats (1977) - contains spoilers

OK...here we go...another revenge movie. This one has had so many different titles I have no idea what the original was or which one is the "official". The title screen on the copy I watched was Getting Even, but imdb lists it as Deadbeat. However, the only poster art I could find was with the title Tomcats.

Let's start with this title. The dictionary definition of Tomcat is "To be sexually active with more than one partner. Used of men.". That would suggest a film involving handsome men and loads of willing ladies. But, with this actually being a rape-revenge movie, it's just highly inappropriate. And not just that...there's also some hideously misleading poster art.

Seriously?

But, but...anyway...I have no idea how long-lived that title was and as I said, the version I watched was called Getting Even. Sure, that's a really rubbish title, but at least it is relevant to the story of the film.

Soooo....

Getting Even aka Deadbeat aka Tomcats aka Avenged (1977)
Directed by: Harry Kerwin
Starring: Chris Mulkey, Polly King

That's right...Chris Mulkey...you might remember him as Hank from Twin Peaks...or from Mysterious Skin. He's a pretty cool guy.

Let's see what it's all about, shall we...

I watch movies so you don't have to #7 - Invasion Of The Bee Girls (1973) - contains spoilers and some nudity

Invasion Of The Bee Girls (1973)
Directed by: Denis Sanders
Starring: William Smith, Anitra Ford, Victoria Vetri

Yup, that's right. The title says it all, really. Invasion Of The Bee Girls. Is it a metaphor? It can't possibly be about bee girls, right?

WRONG!

It certainly is about bee girls...but not your average kind. Oh no, we're talking sex-crazed, killing machine bee girls!

I watch movies so you don't have to #6 - School Of The Holy Beast (1974) Warning: SPOILERS!

It took me quite a while to get into Japanese movies. I realise this is a mindbogglingly stupid generalisation, but I really tried. Then I tried again and still just never found anything that I liked. Eventually I kinda got into Seijun Suzuki and movies like Branded To Kill (1967) and Tokyo Drifter (1966), but I'm not sure if I actually liked them back then or if it was because Jim Jarmusch told me I should.

Anyway...at some point, without the influence of Mr Jarmusch or anyone else, I discovered Kaneto Shindo and his incredible Onibaba (1964) and Kuroneko (1968). These two films completely blew my mind at the time, in a way that no other Japanese film had ever done. So, a whole new world of cinema opened up to me. Eventually I came across the 'Pinky Violence' genre...and I was sold. There were some incredible films made under this vague blanket description. And in general, Japanese indie cinema in the 70's was fucking incredible...a great mish-mash of horror, martial arts, sex and violence that crossed borders we hadn't even dreamt of yet in the West. And it wasn't even scrappily put together, like so many American 70's sex/exploitation movies. The Japanese ones often looked absolutely INCREDIBLE.

School Of The Holy Beast
Directed by: Noribumi Suzuki
Starring: Yumi Takigawa, Emiko Yamauchi, Ryouko Ima

OK...School Of The Holy Beast. An mind-boggling mix of sex, violence and religious imagery, as well as absolutely stunning to look at. The following review/run-through, contains some mild images of violence and nudity, so read on at your own risk...

I watch movies so you don't have to #5 - 99 Women (1969) Warning: SPOILERS!

99 WOMEN (1969)
Directed by: Jess Franco
Starring: Maria Schell, Mercedes McCambridge, Maria Rohm, Rosalba Neri

Even if I've seen a fair amount of Jess Franco's films, I have barely scratched the surface on his almost ridiculously long filmography. It's always difficult to pick one...there’s just so much to choose from and from what I’ve read, there are alot of terrible ones. Since 1959, Franco has directed close to 200 films, many of which (pretty much everything post-1983) are meant to be barely watchable. But, amongst all the shit, there are also many films held in high regard amongst cult/exploitation cinema fans. 99 Women is one of those.

The film start off with three women arriving at The Castle of Death, a women’s prison where they’re about to start lengthy sentences. If the name of the place wasn’t bad enough, the music tells us it’s not going to be a leisurely stay. As soon as the superintendent appears, some seriously dramatic music starts playing. BAD LADY ALERT!

The three girls are stripped of their identities and assigned numbers 97 to 99. See, 99 Women. Although we only really get to meet a handful of inmates, the title of the movie refers to the total number of prisoners in the castle.

Baddie superintendent on the left...laying down the rules...

“From now on you have no name, only a number. You have no future, only the past, You have no hope, only regret. You have no friends, only me.”

Cheery start, huh?

These prison cells aren’t your normal concrete boxes. Instead this is more of a cave with bars...which is nice for a change...for the viewer, that is...

At first there seems to be a bit of camaraderie between the inmates, but if I’ve learnt anything from previous Women-In-Prison movies, it’s that there’s always an evil inmate...an experienced one, used to getting her way. Who’s it going to be this time? Chances are it’s gonna be number 76, Zoei (played by the gorgeous Rosalba Neri)

And as expected, there’s a sleazy Governor involved...

We learn early on that he likes to have his wicked ways with some of the prisoners. He certainly seems intrigued by the news of a new blonde arrival, number 99 (Marie to you and me).

That night, Natalie is very sick. Not yet familiar with the do’s and don’ts of the prison, Marie screams for a doctor. The Superintendent is having none of it.

“We need a doctor badly, mam”
“The result of insolence is seven days in the punishment cells”
“But the girl in the next cell, she needs help”
“The result of repeated insolence is fourteen days in the punishment cells”

Natalie is already dead when the doctor finally arrives. He questions the recent three deaths and the repeated delays in calling for assistance, to which the superintendant coldly replies:

“you’re a doctor, what could you have done? They were dead. All of them, dead when we found them.”

Marie and Zoei are confined together after a fight breaks out.

“Shut up! Why are you crying? You and that bitch of a friend have hurt me. Look at my leg! My beautiful leg!”

The Governor pays them a visit...wonder what he has in mind?

“Love and hate are never very far apart. And sometimes they go together.”

“It’s hot in here. Let’s make ourselves comfortable.”

Zoei knows the score. She’s obviously been here before. She tears the clothes of Marie.

Word is out that there’s something dodgy going on at the castle. An inspector is sent over by the Ministry of Justice to assess the situation. The Superintendent is not too pleased about her working methods being questioned.

Zoei (76) and Marie (99) start warming to each other a bit. We get to know how Zoei ended up on the island.

She used to be a dancer in a club and soon learned that taking your clothes off is part of any job and always makes things easier.

Her lover wanted to take her away from the club, but the female boss refused to let her go. During a fight Zoei accidentally killed her boss and was found guilty of murder.

Anyway...back to prison...

Apparently this is what hard labour does to your finger nails.

The new inspector takes a bit of a shine to Marie and starts taking an interest in her case and her treatment. But, can she be trusted? Marie is willing to take a chance...for now anyway.

We also learn that Diego, boyfriend of redhead prisoner Rosalie and prisoner in the male prison on the other side of the island, is planning an escape.

Meanwhile, tensions are growing between the Superintendent and the new inspector.

“More trust in your prisoners, Miss Diaz, could mean fewer punishments and make this a happier place.”
“The purpose of a prison...is punishment for crimes. This is not meant to be a happy place!”
“In that case your efforts here can be considered extremely successful.”

The girls start discussing escape plans, to coincide with the escape over at the male prison. As part of a more lenient approach by the new inspector, night warden duties have been cancelled...something which should make the whole thing easier to pull off.

“It will be tough if we make it. If we fail, it will be worse”

Zoei is not really to be trusted, so is not part of the escape plans. Instead, she spends alot of time showing off her legs.

Night time! Prison break! And it’s the classic bedlinen rope technique! Hooray!

They run through the jungle...

...kill a snake...

...and find a lake.

Here they bump into one of the male escapees, Ricardo. We learn that Diego, Rosalie’s boyfriend, was shot by guards during the escape. Distraught, she finds some solace in Ricardo, who promised the dying Diego to look after and love her.

The love scene that follows is actually surprisingly tender and well-handled, but this is one of Franco’s main skills. When at his best, he has a natural gift for being charming and seedy, disturbing and beautiful at the same time.

It looks like Marie could do with a cuddle herself.

The four continue their trek through the jungle, but the problem just keeps stacking up. Ricardo is shot by male escapees, who instead of feeling sympathy for our gang and working together, are more interested in female flesh. Rosalie is attacked and left for dead.

Our remaining two ladies struggle on. They manage to get to the fishing village, but their joy is short-lived.

The Governor and the Superintendent are waiting for them with heavily armed guards and it’s back to prison, where things are about to get BAD.

The inspector gives up. She has failed in even gaining the trust of the prisoners...and the Governor and the Superintendent has no interest in changing their ways.

“I seem to be a victim of a disease that doesn’t flourish behind prison walls. I suffer from an excess of humanity.”

She leaves...

Hmm. So, it ends on a bit of a downer. Our girls are left with the baddies.

99 WOMEN is better than many WiP movies. Even if there is a fair amount of female flesh on show, it’s not excessive. The love scenes are surprisingly tender and in general it is a very well-crafted film. The photography is gorgeous and the film is a pleasure to watch. The violence is not really exploited either and is usually hinted at rather than being too graphic.

Saying that, I watched the Director's cut. There is also an XXX-rated version out there, that apparently adds several xxx scenes into the mixture. Like so often is the case, these scenes are supposed to sit pretty awkwardly with the rest of the film.

So, that's one more Franco film ticked off to list...and it's good one...just 190 or so to go.

I watch movies so you don't have to #4 - Rape Squad, aka Act Of Vengeance (1974) - SPOILERS!

Christmas is just around the corner and what better way to celebrate the jolliest of season than by watching a seasonal rape-revenge thriller from the mid-70's, the golden age of such films. Rape Squad (aka Act Of Vengeance) is perhaps not one of the best in the genre, but it's definitely a weird one, mixing an aggressive all-men-are-potential-rapists sentiment with regular naked-jacuzzi-revenge-plotting and comedy fighting, often put together with the energy of a corporate video.

Personally, I think Rape Squad is a far more attention-grabbing title than what they eventually settled for. Maybe it was giving people the wrong idea.

So, what is it all about...

Our main girl Linda is attacked and brutally raped by a maniac wearing an orange jumpsuit and a hockey mask (a whole EIGHT YEARS before Jason Voorhees finally dons his iconic mask in Friday The 13th III (1982). It's an absolutely horrific scene, with the rapist forcing her to first thank him for choosing her and then to sing Jingle Bells for him during the rape.

Bruised and battered Linda goes to the police station to report the rape, but is met with no sympathy from the officers. Despite the 'Jingle Bells rapist' being known at the station, she is put in one uncomfortable situation after another, where it is repeatedly suggested that she might be partly responsible for what happened.

"Did you say no at the first point of body contact" asks the interrogating officer, to which she bluntly replies "well, the first body contact was a kick in the face". "It's just a routine questionnaire", he sheepishly and half-heartedly apologizes. That's it. Linda's had it with insensitive cops. "It's not routine to me! I've been raped and want something done about it!", she screams.

Eventually, all five victims of Jingle Bells are called in to the police station to try and identify him from a line-up. The difficulties in identifying a hockey-mask wearing maniac soon becomes obvious and the police tells them there's not much that can be done.

But the girls won't give up. They decide to form a Rape Squad, a group providing support to rape victims. They also intend to help prevent more attacks, by "taking care" of potential rapists through anonymous tip-offs .

Probably half an hour in and we still haven't met a single likeable male character. The police certainly doesn't approve of their group. Even Linda's boyfriend suggests that she probably was responsible for the attack in some way. When they put up their Rape Squad flyers, they are immediately accosted by male creeps, incapable of showing any sort of sympathy for the girls or their cause, with one stranger commenting that "a little rape once in a while should make life more enjoyable".

But, despite the hurdles, the girls soldier on. They have no intention of giving up, oh no. They start taking karate lessons (from a female teacher naturally) and are told to concentrate on what is every man's weak spot and to not be afraid of fighting dirty.

And then it's time for some topless-jacuzzi-revenge-plotting! Seriously. It comes as quite a surprise, but I can only assume that the filmmakers were doubting the commercial appeal of going all-out with the anti-male agenda...and since men would have been the main audience for the film, they felt the need to at least give them a bit of flesh.

Other women start taking notice of the Rape Squad and soon the tip-offs start coming in. A sleazy nightclub owner was apparently let off by the court, so the girls head over to his club. Linda dresses seductively, starts flirting with the owner and soon finds herself on his sofa. When he tries to come on to her and she objects, he gets violent.

BOOM! Rape Squad to the rescue! The other girls have been waiting outside and kick in the door, beat the creep up and trash his house. They tie him to the bed and pour permanent blue skin dye on his penis, so he can be easily identifiable, should he ever try his dirty tactics again.

"You like to force yourself on women, stud?"

So, we're getting quite far into the movie and it's starting to bug me on many levels. One problem is how it's all shot. It's not that it's badly made...quite often it's just handled in a frustratingly boring way. And it really is a shame. Jingle Bells is an extremely creepy character and it could have been done much more efficiently. It looks like a graduation project where some film school student has decided to make a gritty exploitation film, but been afraid of leaving the textbook behind when it comes to the techhnical aspects. So, there are loads of interesting ideas, but the execution just contradicts the grittiness of the plot.

Anyway...unfortunately, our gang are not getting any closer to catching Jingle Bells...and he's still very much out there. "I'm just your friendly neighbourhood hockey player" he says as he approaches his next victim.

After accidentally killing this victim, we get a disturbing glimpse into the mind of Jingle Bells, through some internal monologue.

"Damn, I actually killed someone. Don't think I want that to happen again, now. It's not a nice feeling. Got to find a new one. Get my mind off that"

With Jingle Bells now being both a murederer and a rapist the police are beginning to object louder to the work of the Rape Squad. But the girls won't listen and decide they are now needed more than ever.

They're alerted to an abusive pimp and practise their karate skills on him.

"See you around, pimp!"

Here's another problem. Thorughout the film, much of the fighting just looks like comedy fighting and it makes it very hard to take it seriously. It just doesn't know what kind of film it wants to be.

However, there's never anything funny about Jingle Bells and he's following the work of Rape Squad closely. He finally lures the whole gang over to an abandoned zoo. I think I'll leave it there for you to find out what happens.

I don't know if I can really "recommend" Rape Squad. It certainly has some interesting ideas going, but the execution lets it down. Jingle Bells is a truly creepy villain, one of the better ones I've seen in a long time.

So, there are definitely better rape-revenge thrillers out there, but there are probably many worse as well. Watch at your own risk.

I watch movies so you don't have to #3 - Pets, 1974 (warning: spoilers!)

So, this is one film I'd been wanting to see for quite some time and it was definitely an odd one. It's a sleazy piece of 70's exploitation weirdness of the best kind. The poster makes it look a lot worse than it actually is. Sure, it might be a bit dodgy at times and certainly wouldn't get made these days, but that's why 70's indie cinema is so fascinating. There were no rules and very few subject matters were taboo.

Pets was directed by a Raphael Nussbaum, but it doesn't seem to have done him any greater favours in the world of film. His imdb filmography as director post-Pets (or Submission as it was also called) includes things like When Sex Was A Knightly Affair and W.A.R. Women Against Rape,so I suppose it's no great surprise that I haven't heard of the man. Anyway, one good film is more than most directors manage, so the man deserves some credit.

Ok...Pets

It all kicks off with our lead girl Bonnie having an argument with her violent brother. There's not really any explanation of what the hell is going on between them, but he's not a particularly pleasant chap, that's for sure. But...our girl Bonnie outsmarts him and manages to get away. She does so by turning him over to a bunch of local gangsters. Aww...you just can't beat that sisterly love.


Bonnie runs off into the night and we never see or hear from her brother again.

She has to spend the night at the beach, but lucky for her it looks like the climate is pretty good for that kind of thing.

In the morning she meets Pat, another drifter of sorts. They get off to a bad start, but soon become the bestest of buddies. They do a bit of flirting with a random jogger and are soon offered a ride in his fancy car. 

What he thought was going to be the best day ever, soon turns out to be his worst. The girls tie him up and force him to tell them his address, where he keeps his money etc. Pat's got a gun and she's not afraid to use it!

Neither is Bonnie! She's put in charge of the "hostage" as Pat drives over to his house to get the money. Bonnie reveals that the gun is actually a water pistol, but the hostage can't really do much about that now anyway. He's tied up pretty damn good.

What happens next is a bit weird. Pat does return, but after a bit of arguing about this and that she soon changes her mind and leaves Bonnie alone with the man. Bonnie doesn't seem to mind though. She decides to have her wicked ways with the tied up man...

...before running away...

But it's her lucky day and she doesn't have to run far! She is caught stealing an apple, but is saved by Geraldine Mills, an artist living in a nearby mansion. Geraldine asks Bonnie to move in and become her model. Bonnie happily accepts.

Geraldine starts to paint alot of Bonnie in the nude and soon enough her work is getting some attention in th elocal gallery. Creepy gallery owner Victor Stackman takes an interest in Geraldines paintings and buys this one...to hang above his bed. Yes, he is developing quite a liking of young Bonnie.

Oh there's a lot of stuff going on. It soon becomes clear that Geraldine has "a thing" for Bonnie and at first  Bonnie is happy to play along. But what she really wants is a man and this makes Geraldine boil over with jealousy. One night they catch a burglar trying to break in to steal some food. Geraldine tries to call the police, but Bonnie innocently pretends that the man got away. But, oh no...she secretly hides him in her room and seduces him. 

Eventually Geraldine finds out and she's not impressed...so she shoots the poor guy. All he wanted was some food, damn it.

Bonnie is a bit freaked out and doesn't really have any other option than to run away again. She's getting good at that!

I shouldn't really give too much away here. Bonnie hides over at creepy Victor's house and then the shit really goes down.

Geraldine comes over...and we learn a lot of unpleasant things about Victor...mainly about his attitude towards women.

Yup...he's got his own zoo...and he's not just keeping animals in there.

How is it all gonna end? Well, I'm not telling and you just have to find out for yourself...if you can track down a copy.

Pets is a well-crafted piece of 70's sleaze. It's very nicely photographed and the acting is pretty good. And it certainly keeps you guessing until the end. Guessing as in "where the hell is this going and what's that poster all about?" anyway. And yes, the poster is slightly misleading. The image is not from the film and is obviously created in order to exploit what is a very minor part of the film's plot. But, who cares? They used to do that shit all the time. There are a lot of holes in the plot and characters come and go without ever being heard from again. But it doesn't matter. Watching these kind of films is not really meant to be an intellectual exercise. What matters is that it's very entertaining and managed to keep my attention for 100 minutes. So, I'm just going to have to recommend it. Watch Pets. It's ace. And weird.